Every month it is a struggle to make my mortgage payment. My expenses outweigh my income. I have tried to "cut back" as much as possible but I still come up short every month.
Through the grace and generosity of my family and friends, and through selling some artwork, I have been able to scrape by. I was talking to Bill about this and we began a discussion about having faith. Faith is something I have, something I know in my heart, but it seems to be tested quite often.
Whenever I think my financial situation is dire, that I will not have enough money to pay my expenses, I begin to fret. Fretting as we all know does no good. Why then do some people (I definitely include myself) worry and fret about situations they have little or no control over?
Is it because we lack faith? Lack faith in God, lack faith in ourselves, lack faith in others, the Universe, the Supreme provider of all?
I believe some people simply worry more than others. Why is that? Could it be the way we were raised? Both of my parents worried about money constantly all of their lives. My dad was always worried about being laid off of work or that his company would go on strike at the end of their contract. Guess what? It never happened.
If we figure out why we may be predisposed to worrying, the next step is to change it. Remembering what has happened in the past, that we somehow managed to get the money to pay our bills and meet our obligations, why then should this time be any different?
Given all the physical hardships that have been laid upon my table, and being thankful for my ability to handle all of this, and eventually coming out feeling optimistic about my future, you would think I have faith that could not be shaken.
So often I have been led to a place of comfort, have obtained moments of clarity, revealing the core of my spiritual faith and have triumphed. In troubling times it would be advantageous to remember our triumphs, to summon forth the courage and make the connection between the innate knowledge we possess about the security of our future and it's ultimate outcome, then move forward.
It says in the Bible our faith will be tested many times. I for one can vouch for that truth. Where will all of this faith bring us?
Faith will bring us wherever we want to go. My belief in God, in myself, in my strength, in my courage and my gratitude have brought me here to this place. This blog is a place where I can bear my soul, share my experiences and impart to all of you that we are all human beings with weaknesses and strengths.
Focussing on our strengths, being grateful for them and continuing to build upon them is the only course of action that will benefit us to the end.
Realizing that our faith is being tested is not the same as having no faith. Having no faith, in God, in yourself, your family and friends means you are alone, helpless, and in a powerless situation with no where to turn. This is not the predicament I find myself in nor will I ever, because I know, not think, know I will always have God, myself and hopefully family and friends to turn to in times of doubt.
Having reread what I have just written I realize I do possess faith, remembering and summoning this faith and this knowledge of faith is a comfort to me and perhaps the next time I doubt myself, or my future I will read what I have just written.
Keeping the faith, three simple words, but sometimes a lifetime to achieve.
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