Is fairness just an illusion?
We are raised to think in terms of fairness. If we take care of ourselves, work hard, save our money etc.. everything will turn out as we have planned, after all it is only fair.
Why has this terrible thing happened to me (I mean anyone)? I didn't deserve it, it's just not fair.
Well guess what? nothing or very little is actually fair. People who strive to live "good" lives still get cancer. People who have to struggle to "raise their children right" still have children who murder, rape and steal. To make matters worse, a child dies from a disease or is killed in a car accident for no apparent reason, how is that fair?
Fairness doesn't actually exist. Fairness or thinking in terms of fairness is a societal and religious creation used to help people do the right thing.
We feel if we to this, that will happen. We feel or are raised to feel that doing, acting or believing a certain way is somehow a guarantee that things will turn out the way we feel they should.
When we play into the"why me" game, we are really actually feeling like we should be exempt from all of the possible misfortunes in life, because we did the right thing.
I recently had another conversation with my friend Steve about fairness, he and I have had these types of discussions on many occasions. We both agree that most people live their lives measuring the fairness or unfairness of the events that occur in their lives.
The fairness or unfairness of the way one group of people is treated by another is one of the foundations on which our country was built. Equality for all is an ideal to which we all aspire, however, it is seldom reached.
We have all been programed to think and act within the realm of what is deemed fair or unfair.
The fact of the matter is good things happen to bad people and bad things happen to good people, it is just the way it is. Where does all of this leave us?
Since fairness is often times an illusion, it may or may not exist in your reality, based on your life circumstances and your perception of your reality. It is likely that if your particular life situation, based upon your judgment, things have gone well, you may think life has treated you fairly.
Conversely, if you feel you have tried to the best of your ability to what is right and just, and yet you have what seems to be an abundance of misfortunes or tragedies, you make think life has treated you unfairly.
The longer I live the more it seems this whole fairness thing is an elusive idea. I could look at my life situation and the loss of my legs as unfair. It is actually no more unfair that it should happen to me and not to another. No one deserves to lose their legs, their arms, their sanity or anything for thatmatter.
It is the luck of the draw as to which if any, misfortunes may affect you personally in your life. We may contribute to some illnesses or injuries because of the choices we make in our lives, however, there are others who make similar choices, whose lives are not adversely affected.
It is the luck of the draw as to which if any, unfortunate happenstance should affect you personally in your life. We my contribute to illness or injury through the life choices we make, however, there are others who make the very same contributory actions, whose lives are not adversely affected the same way.
Suffice it to say since life seems to be made up of judgments about what is fair or unfair, our best hope is to move forward with our lives as they unfold.
It is best not to get caught up in a web of fairness or unfairness. Life is what life is.
I try to move my life forward to the best of my ability, not paying particular attention to the fairness or unfairness of it all, because I feel it serves no purpose and at best is a frivolous pursuit.
Brooding about the fairness or unfairness of the events that have occurred in our lives will hinder us from seeking and finding the happiness we all deserve.
The only guarantee we have in life, is that there is no guarantee.
Do think that is a fair statement?
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