Sunday, April 14, 2013

Don't Get Catfished

I know it has been a while since I have written, probably because there have been some not so pleasant things going on for the past month or more.

I try to write positive things in this blog but as of late, if I waited to write pleasant things, we might all be waiting a while. So I thought I would just delve into what has been going on.

First of all I have good reason this alleged mentor I named Bruce in the past couple of posts could well be a complete fraud. In a nutshell, I think I have been "catfished." Just in case  you are unfamiliar with that term, it was coined to describe an internet relationship, be it a friendship or a more intimate romantic relationship over the internet whereby the other person with whom you are corresponding is telling you lies about themselves.

These catfish episodes are a lot more commonplace than you might believe, in fact there is a reality show on MTV about this very occurrence. From what I understand, these people who perpetrate these lives of lies, who prey on innocent and honest people do this for a variety of reasons, none of which are admirable.

I think some of these dishonest people perpetuate these lies to see how far they can push their story, in other words to see how gullible the recipient really is. The success with which the dishonest person is capable of continuing their deception, depends on how well they respond to questions that may arise when the person to whom they are lying, becomes suspicious. Someone who is skilled, if you want to call it a skill, at lying successfully, can conceivably continue their web of lies indefinitely.

Obviously one of the first questions that may come to mind is why would these people do this in the first place? Good question. I can only speculate about possible reasons and what I have learned from others who have become victims of such a "prank." It seems that many of the people on the internet who play this cat and mouse game with innocent and unknowing participators, derive some type of pleasure from having fooled someone else.

This sick pleasure is at the expense of the other person, be it making the other person feel loved or cared about, giving them words of encouragement based on false pretenses, or just generally trying deliberately to evoke some type of emotional response. I believe the level of success the perpetrator is capable of achieving, is somewhat dependant  upon how venerable and in some cases lonely the recipient is.

On the flip side of the coin, is the fact these false lives that are created, may be invoked as a substitute for mundane, boring, uneventful and most certainly unhappy lives. People for whatever reason, are disillusioned about their own existence to the degree they feel like creating a "better" more exciting life for themselves, except that they are involving other innocent people in the process.

There may be any of a number of various truths and mistruths intermingled to the degree that it  becomes impossible to decipher which is the truth and which is a lie or there may be no truth at all. The whole story of the this person from their name, age, occupation, where they live, etc.  could be completely contrived.

How does one become involved in such a situation? We all are taking a chance when we communicate with a stranger via the internet. Sometimes we may be seeking like minded individuals with whom we feel we share a common bond, to converse about commonalities or perhaps to gain insight from others in similar life circumstances. The idea of sharing thoughts and ideas with another person starts out perfectly innocent but when someone who has a hidden agenda, perpetuates the building of a friendship or relationship on lies, the whole thing falls apart. The result is at minimum hurt feelings and sometimes even greater devastation can occur.

In my particular scenario, I felt I had finally met another gay double above knee amputee with whom I could talk, trade experiences, and offer mutual advice about how to successfully live our lives more productively. Little did I know I was being played for a fool or so it seems. My friend, Bruce, whom I felt was such an inspiration to me, who was so encouraging to me, it seems was placating me, telling me things he thought I wanted to hear. I now have to question the validity of many of the the things I was told by him, not the least of which is his name, where he lives, whether he is or was a Marine.

I will say this, at least through his words, I did in fact start going to the RIC gym, something I had been postponing for quite some time. The reason I am writing this to you is, first, to get this whole thing out into the open. Of course I realize those of you who regard me as a Polly Anna now have more ammunition with which to continue to believe I live my life by looking at the world through rose colored glasses.

The second,  and I believe most important reason, I am writing this is to warn others of the potential hazards of communicating through the internet, to be very vigilant about what you say and with whom you say it. I am very disappointed that this person, Bruce, who had shone a light of hope into my sometimes uneventful life turned out to be someone whose problems are much greater than my own.

At least I live my life from the point of truth, trying with every fiber of my existence to promote and perpetuate good feelings and giving advice that will help others live happier more fulfilling lives. I wish sometimes I wasn't so inclined to be so open, setting myself up for potential hurt, but then again I am who I am, always looking for the best in people.

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  1. What's up mates, how is all, and what you want to say regarding this paragraph, in my view its genuinely amazing in favor of me.

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  2. Today, while I was at work, my cousin stole my apple ipad and tested to see if it can survive
    a 25 foot drop, just so she can be a youtube sensation. My
    iPad is now destroyed and she has 83 views. I know this is completely off topic but I had to share it with someone!

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  3. I do agree with all of the concepts you've offered to your post. They're very convincing and can definitely work.
    Still, the posts are very short for starters. May just you please lengthen
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  4. Hey Glenn, I don’t think you should be embarrassed in any way by this story. You did nothing wrong. In fact, you had the strength to push yourself way out of your comfort zone. Even if Bruce isn’t “real”, what you’ve accomplished on your own is surely real and should be an inspiration for anyone. Don’t let this get you down; all of this (the good and the bad) that you are brave enough to share with the world is being read – and is making a difference.

  5. Thank you so much for your thoughtful and caring comments. I really appreciate your taking the time to share your thoughts and your encouraging words. I hope what you are saying is the truth and I am actually making a difference; after all that is the point of this blog.---Glenn


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