It was two years ago at this time I was cruising the Caribbean with my friend Shawn, his sister, Lisa and her husband Dan. I remember before I went on that trip I had a little trepidation because of the loss of my right leg.
Even though I was going to the gym, driving around, and a lot of other things, I remember being a little apprehensive about the whole cruise ship thing. My sister Rhonda said, "Are you crazy? This is a trip of a lifetime, if you don't go, I will." I also sought and received a lot of positive words from my friend Ruthie, who has been on several cruises.
Obviously I went on the 10 day trip and I had a great time. It was one of, if not the only time in my life, I didn't know what day of the week it was, what time of day it was, I didn't know the date and I didn't care, that's relaxation.
I have written in past blog posts about my friend Shawn. Shawn was about a year and a half into his cancer diagnosis and he was doing reasonably well, all things considered. I remember, as I had anticipated, we had a couple of heart to heart conversations. One conversation in particular has really stayed with me. Suffice it to say the upshot of our talk ended up with Shawn crying, telling me he did not want to die.
Little did I know that this would be the last vacation I ever took when I still had one natural leg. Shortly after we returned from our trip, about two weeks, I got the final blow that ended up with my losing my left leg. Many times I had thought about what would happen to me if I lost the one remaining natural leg I had left (excuse the pun). I had no idea the loss of this second leg was so imminent.
Recently I found out about the death of a person who at one time in my life, I considered to be a very good and close friend. Out of respect for her and her family she shall remain nameless in this post. This woman was someone who prided herself on the care she took of her physical body. She was a vegetarian all of her life, she excercised religiously, she never smoked, took drugs or was ever overweight.
This past October she died of pancreatic cancer at the age of 57.
Now I know you might be thinking why is he writing about all of these things? What is the connection?
My point is who would have known two years ago at this time, I would lose two friends to cancer and lose my second leg?
I am glad we are not able to see into the future, knowing in advance what lay ahead for us. I think life is designed that way because it is nature's way of letting us continue down our respective paths unobstructed by the sometimes cruel twists of fate that lay in our future.
By the same token, we also do not know the joys that lay ahead either. I have heard people say I wish I would have known that was going to happen in advance, so that I could have prevented this or that.
I think nature or God has it correct, we should not know of the pain or of the joy that lay ahead so that we try to live today for today's sake.
Do you think I would have enjoyed my 10 day cruise knowing that two weeks after I returned I was going to lose my second leg? Do you think my two friends who both succumbed to cancer would have fought as hard as they both did if they knew for sure it was a hopeless endevour? I don't think so.
A lot of my blog posts have the same underlying themes but are expressed differently. Two of those themes are: stay in the moment and appreciate what you have while you have it. I think those themes keep reoccurring because they are truths and things always revert back to the truth.
You never know what lies around the bend, and I for one am glad not knowing. How about you?
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