This is the the 100th blog post of my blogging history. One might think that I have some monumental announcement to make, but alas, not really.
Recently I have been having a difficult time coming up with material to write, this is not the usual with me but it could be for several reasons. Since I no longer participate in physical therapy I have less interaction with other people than I had before, hence less stories with which to amuse myself and my readers.
It should also not be surprising that I have a tendency to write things from an optimistic point of view and as of late that optimism has become somewhat elusive. I am not saying that I am wallowing in the pit of despair but I guess you could say reality has set in and I am not sure I am going to be able to attain some of the goals I set forth two years ago. I guess a more appropriate approach is that things are more realistic than they were two years ago.
I am at a point in this whole leg loss scenario where I have a more true perspective of what I am actually physically capable of achieving. Coming to terms with the reality in one's life is sometimes disillusioning, seeing and living things as they unfold and making evaluations about what is achievable and not, can leave you disappointed.
This may not really be disappointment, but rather reality bringing you to place where you never thought you would be. I am not saying I am giving up on this walking thing but putting these glorious words into practice is a whole different ballgame. A realization I came to meet some time ago was that this is a whole lot of work and I am not completely convinced I am up for the task.
I can now more fully understand and appreciate why people relegate themselves to just taking the easy way out. It is much easier to roll around in your wheelchair than it is to attempt to walk on prosthetics. I cannot believe I am actually writing these words but it is how I feel about the situation right now.
Perhaps I have some misplaced notion that other people will be disappointed in me or some other convoluted idea that I am lazy and unwilling to put forth the effort required to achieve goals I have set forth for myself. Whatever the reason, I am currently unenthusiastic about my eventual ability to actually walk for any extended length of time.
It could very well be that people in situations similar to mine go through this and because I have nothing to compare it to, I just don't realize this is a normal reaction and may or may not change in the future. Questions I ask myself include: Am I working as hard as I should be? Can I really improve my ability to walk for an extended period? Are these small mini walks all I am capable of doing or all I can expect to accomplish? Am I being too hard on myself? The list goes on and on.
Whatever the future holds for me I must cling to the notion that I am doing the best that I can do and learn to be satisfied with my accomplishments. After all I am still a self-sustaining individual capable of taking take of myself and maintaining a home on my own.
No matter what happens in my future I am ever vigilant of the blessings I still have, my home, my family, my friends and my ability to seek and find reasons to be thankful and happy. Perhaps I should just lighten up a little and learn to go with the flow of my life, taking things in stride and remembering that small voice I hear from time to time that says, "The best of your life is yet to come."
*To leave a comment click the button below to reach me personally write to: glennartinc@yahoo.com
Saturday, January 26, 2013
Saturday, January 12, 2013
Ups and Downs
Usually when I decide to write a blog post, the words flow forth somewhat easily. I think for a day or two about what it is I want to write and then write my thoughts down in a notebook first, reworking things as I see fit.
I have not written anything yet this year, this is the first post of 2013. I have attempted to write a couple of times this year but I did not like what I had written or it seemed like a hodge podge of jumbled thoughts or words.
Through the past almost two years I have tried to write on the average of once a week, sometimes more often a little less. Of course we have all heard of writer's block, a seeming inability to come up with interesting and tangible thoughts or ideas.
I have tried to make sure my blog is filled with uplifting thoughts, something I hope makes the reader feel good, thankful, and grateful for the things they find in their own lives.
In spite of the things I have written and wholeheartedly believe, in the past couple of years, I am having a really heard difficult time being positive about myself and my life. Normally I would never write while in my present state of mind, but I have heard that writing can be a good way of alleviating stress, so here I am writing to you.
I realize all that I have for which to be thankful, but the last couple of weeks it has been unusually difficult for me to maintain my generally positive attitude toward my life. Everything seems to be weighing me down. Usually I can shrug things off fairly easily but recently I can't seem to see the sun because of the incessant and gray clouds covering the light I can usually more easily access.
Sometimes I wonder how I ever found my life in such a state as it seems to be in at this point. As I have mentioned in other posts sometimes I sit in my wheelchair and I watch people walking by. I marvel at the ease with which they take their steps, oblivious to the fact the the ability to walk is such a marvelous part of life, an oblivion I was also in before the loss of my legs.
I feel as if life is passing right before me and I am merely a spectator observing others as they go about living their lives. I greatly dislike the feelings of being a nonparticipating functioning part of living life.
I know you may cringe when I propose this question but here goes, did you ever ask yourself, "If I were gone tomorrow, who's life would be affected on a daily basis without my presence?"
Sure I have been blessed with family and friends and I am eternally grateful for each and every one of them, but who would genuinely be affected by my absence? I suspect if we were honest about it, not many.
I guess it is normal to feel down from time to time especially when you have experienced the types of monumental losses that have affected my life. Now don't go and get all psychoanalytic on me, I am not suicidal or anything and I am not wallowing in the depths of despair, simply posing a question that I have experienced through the loss of friends in my own life.
A couple of weeks ago I started crying when I was looking at a pair of Grinch lounge pants (you know the Suess character who stole Christmas) that I received for Christmas from my sister, Rhonda. I had a pair of similar Grinch lounge pants several years ago, given to me by my best friend, Kevin. I loved those pants so much I wore them until they had holes in them and had to be throw away. Rhonda knew how much I liked them, hence the new pair.
Why did I cry a few days later when I looked at the new pair? I cried because it brought back memories of how much I have lost. I no longer wear lounge pants and slippers as I used to do.
You see when you wear prosthetic limbs, legs in particular, they are worn for two main reasons, to walk or stand and to camouflage the loss of your legs. There is no such thing as lounging while wearing prosthetic legs.
My tears were tears of grief over the loss of my legs and also my friend, Kevin who passed away from cancer almost eight years ago. Of course Rhonda would never deliberately do anything to make me cry, she had no idea, nor did I, that those lounge pants would evoke such a response.
You are probably wondering why I am writing all of this, I am writing this because this is how I feel at this moment. Sorry if this is not my usual happy, optimistic, glass half full self, readers are accustomed reading in my blog. No one can be positive one hundred percent of the time and though it is not usually my state of mind, it is however, a part of life.
No one needs to tell me to look on the bright side, things could be worse, or count my blessings. I already know and for the most part live my life from those areas and those realizations, but today, in fact, for the past couple of weeks I have not been in that state.
I suppose this may have been a downer to read but guess what? My life is a downer a lot of the time. I guess I am not coming from a good place right now and if I waited until I was in a better place to write this post, who knows when that might be?
Life is full of ups and downs and being a honest and upfront writer means sharing both good and bad days with you and I feel privileged to know you have taken the time to read my words, be they optimistic or even not so optimistic.
Things will be better the next time I write but thanks for stopping by anyway.
*To leave a comment click the comment area below, to write me personally I can be reached at: glennartinc@yahoo.com
I have not written anything yet this year, this is the first post of 2013. I have attempted to write a couple of times this year but I did not like what I had written or it seemed like a hodge podge of jumbled thoughts or words.
Through the past almost two years I have tried to write on the average of once a week, sometimes more often a little less. Of course we have all heard of writer's block, a seeming inability to come up with interesting and tangible thoughts or ideas.
I have tried to make sure my blog is filled with uplifting thoughts, something I hope makes the reader feel good, thankful, and grateful for the things they find in their own lives.
In spite of the things I have written and wholeheartedly believe, in the past couple of years, I am having a really heard difficult time being positive about myself and my life. Normally I would never write while in my present state of mind, but I have heard that writing can be a good way of alleviating stress, so here I am writing to you.
I realize all that I have for which to be thankful, but the last couple of weeks it has been unusually difficult for me to maintain my generally positive attitude toward my life. Everything seems to be weighing me down. Usually I can shrug things off fairly easily but recently I can't seem to see the sun because of the incessant and gray clouds covering the light I can usually more easily access.
Sometimes I wonder how I ever found my life in such a state as it seems to be in at this point. As I have mentioned in other posts sometimes I sit in my wheelchair and I watch people walking by. I marvel at the ease with which they take their steps, oblivious to the fact the the ability to walk is such a marvelous part of life, an oblivion I was also in before the loss of my legs.
I feel as if life is passing right before me and I am merely a spectator observing others as they go about living their lives. I greatly dislike the feelings of being a nonparticipating functioning part of living life.
I know you may cringe when I propose this question but here goes, did you ever ask yourself, "If I were gone tomorrow, who's life would be affected on a daily basis without my presence?"
Sure I have been blessed with family and friends and I am eternally grateful for each and every one of them, but who would genuinely be affected by my absence? I suspect if we were honest about it, not many.
I guess it is normal to feel down from time to time especially when you have experienced the types of monumental losses that have affected my life. Now don't go and get all psychoanalytic on me, I am not suicidal or anything and I am not wallowing in the depths of despair, simply posing a question that I have experienced through the loss of friends in my own life.
A couple of weeks ago I started crying when I was looking at a pair of Grinch lounge pants (you know the Suess character who stole Christmas) that I received for Christmas from my sister, Rhonda. I had a pair of similar Grinch lounge pants several years ago, given to me by my best friend, Kevin. I loved those pants so much I wore them until they had holes in them and had to be throw away. Rhonda knew how much I liked them, hence the new pair.
Why did I cry a few days later when I looked at the new pair? I cried because it brought back memories of how much I have lost. I no longer wear lounge pants and slippers as I used to do.
You see when you wear prosthetic limbs, legs in particular, they are worn for two main reasons, to walk or stand and to camouflage the loss of your legs. There is no such thing as lounging while wearing prosthetic legs.
My tears were tears of grief over the loss of my legs and also my friend, Kevin who passed away from cancer almost eight years ago. Of course Rhonda would never deliberately do anything to make me cry, she had no idea, nor did I, that those lounge pants would evoke such a response.
You are probably wondering why I am writing all of this, I am writing this because this is how I feel at this moment. Sorry if this is not my usual happy, optimistic, glass half full self, readers are accustomed reading in my blog. No one can be positive one hundred percent of the time and though it is not usually my state of mind, it is however, a part of life.
No one needs to tell me to look on the bright side, things could be worse, or count my blessings. I already know and for the most part live my life from those areas and those realizations, but today, in fact, for the past couple of weeks I have not been in that state.
I suppose this may have been a downer to read but guess what? My life is a downer a lot of the time. I guess I am not coming from a good place right now and if I waited until I was in a better place to write this post, who knows when that might be?
Life is full of ups and downs and being a honest and upfront writer means sharing both good and bad days with you and I feel privileged to know you have taken the time to read my words, be they optimistic or even not so optimistic.
Things will be better the next time I write but thanks for stopping by anyway.
*To leave a comment click the comment area below, to write me personally I can be reached at: glennartinc@yahoo.com
Thursday, December 27, 2012
Year End Review
I am sitting at my sister and brother-in-law's house looking at a howling blizzard outside, and I am thinking how lucky I am to be safe and secure in this beautiful place. As always we had a wonderful and crazy Christmas. The wrapping paper was flying as everyone was opening their gifts, certainly a reason to be thankful that we have all been so blessed.
In keeping with that spirit, I thought I would write about some of the highs and lows of the past year. As each year passes I am mindful of the ever increasing longevity of my friendships and how important my friendships are to my overall happiness. I also have become increasingly cognizant of the impermanence of almost everything in our lives and the need to appreciate who we have in our lives while we have them.
Each year we add to the cherished memories we create as the years quickly pass. Unfortunately I lost two friends to cancer in this past year. First my friend of 23 years, Shawn Daly, I have written about him on several occasions and certainly could not have let this year end review pass by without mentioning this monumental loss. I still have his last two voice mail messages on my cellphone so that I can remember his voice. I will never forget all the times this guy made me laugh at his insane antics and of course the cruise we took together.
The second loss of a friend in 2012, is someone who I actually lost a couple of years before she passed, there was a lack of communication between the two of us that resulted in her choosing to part ways and thus ending our friendship. This was a particularly difficult situation for me because I was not made aware of her cancer diagnosis and so I did not participate in her final years. Now I understand that her dying is about her and not about me, however, I loved her and would like to have demonstrated my love and support to her because of the mutual love and friendship we once shared. I have been mourning the loss of our friendship for a couple of years but her passing just finalized something I had hoped could have been remedied. She will be greatly missed by me.
I stopped physical therapy in October of this year because of a newly imposed "cap" on medicare benefits, this cap was implemented retrospectively and thus I was not informed about the imminent monetary end of physical therapy until I had reached the limit. This abruptness of course left little time to tie up any loose ends and make as smooth a transition away from my "physical therapy family" as I would have liked.
As 2013 fast approaches I am not sure if I am going back to therapy at all. There is very little left to do except for an occasional review of my progress or lack there of, and the encouragement that ostensibly I need. To be perfectly honest, I am not working as diligently toward walking on those short legs as I should or could be. I guess over the course of time I am realizing how daunting this task before actually is. I realize that everyone gets discouraged from time to time but I am wondering if the effort necessary to walk on those short legs is really worth all the energy I expend.
The roommate drama continues as I search for a suitable candidate, something that I thought would be a no brainer has turned out to be quite a challenge, not to speak of the financial hardship of not having someone to share living expenses poses for me in my life.
My friend, Steve told me he thought I was one of the most positive persons he knew, according to him I am always finding the good in people. While I will admit I do think most people are good deep within their souls, I have found that some persons disguise that innate goodness pretty well. I think after having reread what I have written thus far, it does not sound all that positive.
I guess it is now safe to say I have made it two years without a hospital stay, something I have not been able to say for quite a few years. If that is not a reason to be happy and thankful than I don' t know what is. It was a little over two years ago that I lost my second leg.
Every year it seems I look forward to greener pastures, hoping and visualizing good things for everyone in the coming year and this year is no different. I think sometimes rather than dwelling on what was not accomplished in the past year we should focus on what was accomplished and realize that if I can still write these words and you can still read them than we should rejoice in those facts and let the new year unfold such as it will.
Happy and Blessed New Year to Everyone.
*To leave a comment hit the comment tab below, to reach me personally write me at: glennartinc@yahoo.com
In keeping with that spirit, I thought I would write about some of the highs and lows of the past year. As each year passes I am mindful of the ever increasing longevity of my friendships and how important my friendships are to my overall happiness. I also have become increasingly cognizant of the impermanence of almost everything in our lives and the need to appreciate who we have in our lives while we have them.
Each year we add to the cherished memories we create as the years quickly pass. Unfortunately I lost two friends to cancer in this past year. First my friend of 23 years, Shawn Daly, I have written about him on several occasions and certainly could not have let this year end review pass by without mentioning this monumental loss. I still have his last two voice mail messages on my cellphone so that I can remember his voice. I will never forget all the times this guy made me laugh at his insane antics and of course the cruise we took together.
The second loss of a friend in 2012, is someone who I actually lost a couple of years before she passed, there was a lack of communication between the two of us that resulted in her choosing to part ways and thus ending our friendship. This was a particularly difficult situation for me because I was not made aware of her cancer diagnosis and so I did not participate in her final years. Now I understand that her dying is about her and not about me, however, I loved her and would like to have demonstrated my love and support to her because of the mutual love and friendship we once shared. I have been mourning the loss of our friendship for a couple of years but her passing just finalized something I had hoped could have been remedied. She will be greatly missed by me.
I stopped physical therapy in October of this year because of a newly imposed "cap" on medicare benefits, this cap was implemented retrospectively and thus I was not informed about the imminent monetary end of physical therapy until I had reached the limit. This abruptness of course left little time to tie up any loose ends and make as smooth a transition away from my "physical therapy family" as I would have liked.
As 2013 fast approaches I am not sure if I am going back to therapy at all. There is very little left to do except for an occasional review of my progress or lack there of, and the encouragement that ostensibly I need. To be perfectly honest, I am not working as diligently toward walking on those short legs as I should or could be. I guess over the course of time I am realizing how daunting this task before actually is. I realize that everyone gets discouraged from time to time but I am wondering if the effort necessary to walk on those short legs is really worth all the energy I expend.
The roommate drama continues as I search for a suitable candidate, something that I thought would be a no brainer has turned out to be quite a challenge, not to speak of the financial hardship of not having someone to share living expenses poses for me in my life.
My friend, Steve told me he thought I was one of the most positive persons he knew, according to him I am always finding the good in people. While I will admit I do think most people are good deep within their souls, I have found that some persons disguise that innate goodness pretty well. I think after having reread what I have written thus far, it does not sound all that positive.
I guess it is now safe to say I have made it two years without a hospital stay, something I have not been able to say for quite a few years. If that is not a reason to be happy and thankful than I don' t know what is. It was a little over two years ago that I lost my second leg.
Every year it seems I look forward to greener pastures, hoping and visualizing good things for everyone in the coming year and this year is no different. I think sometimes rather than dwelling on what was not accomplished in the past year we should focus on what was accomplished and realize that if I can still write these words and you can still read them than we should rejoice in those facts and let the new year unfold such as it will.
Happy and Blessed New Year to Everyone.
*To leave a comment hit the comment tab below, to reach me personally write me at: glennartinc@yahoo.com
Saturday, December 15, 2012
Evaluating Our Priorities
Not unlike the rest of the nation who is still reeling in the wake of yesterday's horrific tragedy, I was deeply affected by the senseless loss of life.
I am not going to rant and rave about the gun laws and lack of control our nation seems to be so apathetic about changing, instead, I am going to talk about keeping our priorities straight and evaluating the prospective we have about our own individual lives.
It is so easy to get lost in the maze of our own seemingly endless problems. We forget from time to time what is really important. We get preoccupied in everyday trivialities, which upon closer examination and when weighed against what is really important, seem petty and sometimes even meaningless.
We forget the joy of a child's smiling face, the hug from a close friend, the comfort we feel when surrounded by those whom we love and who love us. This heinous act which was perpetrated upon innocent children and loving, dedicated educators is a sobering reminder that we should pay closer attention and show more appreciation to people we love.
It is never known in advance what lays ahead around the next bend in our lives, consequently, perhaps we should try to be more conscientious about telling and showing those whom we love how much they really mean to us.
We get wrapped up in the business of living and sometimes take for granted that those who are in our lives will always be there. If everyone would tell at least one other person every day that they love them, that they are proud of them, and that they appreciate them, our world would be so much more of a loving place in which to live.
When I think about those children whose lives were snuffed out in the blink of an eye, I want to cry. I want to cry for what could have and should have been.
Let us all reexamine our priorities to determine what is really important in our lives, remembering that love and life are what our real priorities should be.
I am as guilty as anyone of getting caught up in my own world of problems and not remembering to tell my family and friends how much they mean to me and how much better my life is because they are a part of it.
I hope that many lessons will be learned through the loss of all of those innocent lives yesterday and that we as people collectively will change whatever needs to be changed, be it laws, attitudes, societal tolerance, or restraint to curtail if not totally eliminate further needless bloodshed.
Today is the day and now is the time to change our priorities, demonstrate our love for each other not only through our words but also through our actions. Each of us have the capacity to evoke change and the first step is to exemplify our reverence for life itself and every one's inalienable right to live happy and fulfilling lives.
May God bless those children and teachers who lives were stolen from them yesterday and may God's strength and peace be with the family and friends of those who have suffered such an inconceivable loss. Amen.
I am not going to rant and rave about the gun laws and lack of control our nation seems to be so apathetic about changing, instead, I am going to talk about keeping our priorities straight and evaluating the prospective we have about our own individual lives.
It is so easy to get lost in the maze of our own seemingly endless problems. We forget from time to time what is really important. We get preoccupied in everyday trivialities, which upon closer examination and when weighed against what is really important, seem petty and sometimes even meaningless.
We forget the joy of a child's smiling face, the hug from a close friend, the comfort we feel when surrounded by those whom we love and who love us. This heinous act which was perpetrated upon innocent children and loving, dedicated educators is a sobering reminder that we should pay closer attention and show more appreciation to people we love.
It is never known in advance what lays ahead around the next bend in our lives, consequently, perhaps we should try to be more conscientious about telling and showing those whom we love how much they really mean to us.
We get wrapped up in the business of living and sometimes take for granted that those who are in our lives will always be there. If everyone would tell at least one other person every day that they love them, that they are proud of them, and that they appreciate them, our world would be so much more of a loving place in which to live.
When I think about those children whose lives were snuffed out in the blink of an eye, I want to cry. I want to cry for what could have and should have been.
Let us all reexamine our priorities to determine what is really important in our lives, remembering that love and life are what our real priorities should be.
I am as guilty as anyone of getting caught up in my own world of problems and not remembering to tell my family and friends how much they mean to me and how much better my life is because they are a part of it.
I hope that many lessons will be learned through the loss of all of those innocent lives yesterday and that we as people collectively will change whatever needs to be changed, be it laws, attitudes, societal tolerance, or restraint to curtail if not totally eliminate further needless bloodshed.
Today is the day and now is the time to change our priorities, demonstrate our love for each other not only through our words but also through our actions. Each of us have the capacity to evoke change and the first step is to exemplify our reverence for life itself and every one's inalienable right to live happy and fulfilling lives.
May God bless those children and teachers who lives were stolen from them yesterday and may God's strength and peace be with the family and friends of those who have suffered such an inconceivable loss. Amen.
Sunday, December 9, 2012
Weird Blog Comments
For the past few months I have been receiving weird blog comments, always by an anonymous person. The comments usually pay some arbitrary or generic compliment, followed by a web page or other blog they would like for me to visit.
I visited a few of them and they have absolutely nothing to do with my blog post. Could it be that some word contained within the title of my particular blog post prompted a person searching on google to my site? If that is the case, than why would this be happening all of a sudden?
A few months ago I received a blog comment on the post I titled, "Utilizing All of Your Tools" the comment said, "Alle denken immer nur das Eine." I had a friend of mine translate it from the German it was written in, to English. The translation is, "Some people only think of themselves." What is that supposed to mean?
If anyone has any insight as to why this has been happening please share that information with me. It is a little irritating to me that these unrelated and irrelevant comments are being sent to me.
My blog was designed to be informative and hopefully uplifting, not used as a means to promote or increase the Internet traffic on another blog or website that is not connected with my blog topic or concerned with life as an amputee.
While I am on the subject of blog comments, I think there has been some confusion as to how a comment is posted on my blog site. If you would like to leave a comment, you enter it in the comment section following the blog post. If you want your comment to appear at the end of my blog, after entering the comment, hit the word publish and it will be printed in the comment box for other blog visitors to read.
The comment box at the end of a blog post serves two purposes; first, to give me, the author, some feedback from you, the reader, and secondly, by publishing your comment, I then have the opportunity to respond to you comments.
This back and forth dialogue is something I have always hoped would happen but has never actually caught on. Does all of this make sense?
There is a blog forum associated with "blogspot.com" and I guess I should pose these questions to the forum to see if others have experienced similar occurrences.
I am only writing these things because I am hoping these arbitrary comments will stop, which is not to say that I do not value reader's comments, on the contrary, I highly value the comments my readers take the time to write.
I enjoy reading the comments sent to me, both positive and negative. It gives me a sense of accomplishment knowing that people feel the words I share about my experiences as a bilateral amputee have meaning and are relevant.
This blog was meant not only to be informative but to also help people understand my life as I go through it as an amputee. Ultimately, I hope this blog serves as words of encouragement to others who may not be an amputee per se, but looking for a new perspective on how to interpret life's circumstances and learn to live as happy and positive a life as possible.
Thank you.
*Please leave your comments below or to write to personally at: glennartinc@yahoo.com
I visited a few of them and they have absolutely nothing to do with my blog post. Could it be that some word contained within the title of my particular blog post prompted a person searching on google to my site? If that is the case, than why would this be happening all of a sudden?
A few months ago I received a blog comment on the post I titled, "Utilizing All of Your Tools" the comment said, "Alle denken immer nur das Eine." I had a friend of mine translate it from the German it was written in, to English. The translation is, "Some people only think of themselves." What is that supposed to mean?
If anyone has any insight as to why this has been happening please share that information with me. It is a little irritating to me that these unrelated and irrelevant comments are being sent to me.
My blog was designed to be informative and hopefully uplifting, not used as a means to promote or increase the Internet traffic on another blog or website that is not connected with my blog topic or concerned with life as an amputee.
While I am on the subject of blog comments, I think there has been some confusion as to how a comment is posted on my blog site. If you would like to leave a comment, you enter it in the comment section following the blog post. If you want your comment to appear at the end of my blog, after entering the comment, hit the word publish and it will be printed in the comment box for other blog visitors to read.
The comment box at the end of a blog post serves two purposes; first, to give me, the author, some feedback from you, the reader, and secondly, by publishing your comment, I then have the opportunity to respond to you comments.
This back and forth dialogue is something I have always hoped would happen but has never actually caught on. Does all of this make sense?
There is a blog forum associated with "blogspot.com" and I guess I should pose these questions to the forum to see if others have experienced similar occurrences.
I am only writing these things because I am hoping these arbitrary comments will stop, which is not to say that I do not value reader's comments, on the contrary, I highly value the comments my readers take the time to write.
I enjoy reading the comments sent to me, both positive and negative. It gives me a sense of accomplishment knowing that people feel the words I share about my experiences as a bilateral amputee have meaning and are relevant.
This blog was meant not only to be informative but to also help people understand my life as I go through it as an amputee. Ultimately, I hope this blog serves as words of encouragement to others who may not be an amputee per se, but looking for a new perspective on how to interpret life's circumstances and learn to live as happy and positive a life as possible.
Thank you.
*Please leave your comments below or to write to personally at: glennartinc@yahoo.com
Friday, November 30, 2012
What Lies Ahead?
It was two years ago at this time I was cruising the Caribbean with my friend Shawn, his sister, Lisa and her husband Dan. I remember before I went on that trip I had a little trepidation because of the loss of my right leg.
Even though I was going to the gym, driving around, and a lot of other things, I remember being a little apprehensive about the whole cruise ship thing. My sister Rhonda said, "Are you crazy? This is a trip of a lifetime, if you don't go, I will." I also sought and received a lot of positive words from my friend Ruthie, who has been on several cruises.
Obviously I went on the 10 day trip and I had a great time. It was one of, if not the only time in my life, I didn't know what day of the week it was, what time of day it was, I didn't know the date and I didn't care, that's relaxation.
I have written in past blog posts about my friend Shawn. Shawn was about a year and a half into his cancer diagnosis and he was doing reasonably well, all things considered. I remember, as I had anticipated, we had a couple of heart to heart conversations. One conversation in particular has really stayed with me. Suffice it to say the upshot of our talk ended up with Shawn crying, telling me he did not want to die.
Little did I know that this would be the last vacation I ever took when I still had one natural leg. Shortly after we returned from our trip, about two weeks, I got the final blow that ended up with my losing my left leg. Many times I had thought about what would happen to me if I lost the one remaining natural leg I had left (excuse the pun). I had no idea the loss of this second leg was so imminent.
Recently I found out about the death of a person who at one time in my life, I considered to be a very good and close friend. Out of respect for her and her family she shall remain nameless in this post. This woman was someone who prided herself on the care she took of her physical body. She was a vegetarian all of her life, she excercised religiously, she never smoked, took drugs or was ever overweight.
This past October she died of pancreatic cancer at the age of 57.
Now I know you might be thinking why is he writing about all of these things? What is the connection?
My point is who would have known two years ago at this time, I would lose two friends to cancer and lose my second leg?
I am glad we are not able to see into the future, knowing in advance what lay ahead for us. I think life is designed that way because it is nature's way of letting us continue down our respective paths unobstructed by the sometimes cruel twists of fate that lay in our future.
By the same token, we also do not know the joys that lay ahead either. I have heard people say I wish I would have known that was going to happen in advance, so that I could have prevented this or that.
I think nature or God has it correct, we should not know of the pain or of the joy that lay ahead so that we try to live today for today's sake.
Do you think I would have enjoyed my 10 day cruise knowing that two weeks after I returned I was going to lose my second leg? Do you think my two friends who both succumbed to cancer would have fought as hard as they both did if they knew for sure it was a hopeless endevour? I don't think so.
A lot of my blog posts have the same underlying themes but are expressed differently. Two of those themes are: stay in the moment and appreciate what you have while you have it. I think those themes keep reoccurring because they are truths and things always revert back to the truth.
You never know what lies around the bend, and I for one am glad not knowing. How about you?
*To leave a comment hit the comment button below, to reach me personally write me at: glennartinc@yahoo.com
Even though I was going to the gym, driving around, and a lot of other things, I remember being a little apprehensive about the whole cruise ship thing. My sister Rhonda said, "Are you crazy? This is a trip of a lifetime, if you don't go, I will." I also sought and received a lot of positive words from my friend Ruthie, who has been on several cruises.
Obviously I went on the 10 day trip and I had a great time. It was one of, if not the only time in my life, I didn't know what day of the week it was, what time of day it was, I didn't know the date and I didn't care, that's relaxation.
I have written in past blog posts about my friend Shawn. Shawn was about a year and a half into his cancer diagnosis and he was doing reasonably well, all things considered. I remember, as I had anticipated, we had a couple of heart to heart conversations. One conversation in particular has really stayed with me. Suffice it to say the upshot of our talk ended up with Shawn crying, telling me he did not want to die.
Little did I know that this would be the last vacation I ever took when I still had one natural leg. Shortly after we returned from our trip, about two weeks, I got the final blow that ended up with my losing my left leg. Many times I had thought about what would happen to me if I lost the one remaining natural leg I had left (excuse the pun). I had no idea the loss of this second leg was so imminent.
Recently I found out about the death of a person who at one time in my life, I considered to be a very good and close friend. Out of respect for her and her family she shall remain nameless in this post. This woman was someone who prided herself on the care she took of her physical body. She was a vegetarian all of her life, she excercised religiously, she never smoked, took drugs or was ever overweight.
This past October she died of pancreatic cancer at the age of 57.
Now I know you might be thinking why is he writing about all of these things? What is the connection?
My point is who would have known two years ago at this time, I would lose two friends to cancer and lose my second leg?
I am glad we are not able to see into the future, knowing in advance what lay ahead for us. I think life is designed that way because it is nature's way of letting us continue down our respective paths unobstructed by the sometimes cruel twists of fate that lay in our future.
By the same token, we also do not know the joys that lay ahead either. I have heard people say I wish I would have known that was going to happen in advance, so that I could have prevented this or that.
I think nature or God has it correct, we should not know of the pain or of the joy that lay ahead so that we try to live today for today's sake.
Do you think I would have enjoyed my 10 day cruise knowing that two weeks after I returned I was going to lose my second leg? Do you think my two friends who both succumbed to cancer would have fought as hard as they both did if they knew for sure it was a hopeless endevour? I don't think so.
A lot of my blog posts have the same underlying themes but are expressed differently. Two of those themes are: stay in the moment and appreciate what you have while you have it. I think those themes keep reoccurring because they are truths and things always revert back to the truth.
You never know what lies around the bend, and I for one am glad not knowing. How about you?
*To leave a comment hit the comment button below, to reach me personally write me at: glennartinc@yahoo.com
Monday, November 19, 2012
Thanksgiving
With Thanksgiving Day just a couple of days from now, I thought I would express some of my thoughts about being thankful.
I try to express my thanks for all that I have been given on a regular basis. I remember over five years ago I was praying to God that my name might be selected to receive this condo. I told God in my prayer that if I was given the opportunity to receive this home I would never take it for granted.
My prayer stated that I would thank Him/Her for this blessing each and every day. In the morning when I wheel myself into the main living area of my home, I look around and immediately thank God for my beautiful surroundings.
It is easy to get caught in a cycle of always wanting more, wanting bigger, wanting better, wanting more expensive, sometimes we need to stop, observe, and appreciate all that we already have and have been blessed to receive.
Some may wonder, given all that I have been through with the loss of both of my legs, what do I have to be thankful for? Actually the list is too long to even begin to write here.
As I have written before, my friend Michelle McKinney Hammond said to me in the hospital, after the loss of my second leg, "Through great losses come great blessings." I have never forgotten her precious words. What Michelle said is true, the loss I have suffered physically has afforded me the time to reflect upon my situation, and I have chosen to see the good where one might find only hardship and dispair.
The personal strength I found within myself was certainly God sent and I am ever so grateful for having found it.
I am not saying that my life is not difficult, because it is, however, dwelling on what is so terrible does not lend itself to leading a happy and productive life.
The people who are currently in my life, and some who are no longer in my life, have each demonstrated their love and compassion for me throughout the entire ordeal of losing my legs, and most continue to do so.
How can I not be thankful for such wonderful family and friends? There are so many other possible scenarios that could have been so much worse for me than where I find myself today, physically, psychologically, and spiritually.
I am not hungry, I am not homeless, and I am not alone. I could have chosen to live a life of regrets, filled my days with wondering what could or should have been, driving myself crazy with feelings of guilt or living life in the past, however, I chose not to live that way.
We as individuals owe God and ourselves praise and thanksgiving for all that we now have and all that we will ever have.
As the holiday season is upon us, let us renew our appreciation for life itself and all of the opportunities we have to seek and find happiness and be thankful for our ability to do so.
Happy Thanksgiving to everyone today and every day.
*To leave a comment click the comment button below, to contact me personally, write me at: glennartinc@yahoo.com
I try to express my thanks for all that I have been given on a regular basis. I remember over five years ago I was praying to God that my name might be selected to receive this condo. I told God in my prayer that if I was given the opportunity to receive this home I would never take it for granted.
My prayer stated that I would thank Him/Her for this blessing each and every day. In the morning when I wheel myself into the main living area of my home, I look around and immediately thank God for my beautiful surroundings.
It is easy to get caught in a cycle of always wanting more, wanting bigger, wanting better, wanting more expensive, sometimes we need to stop, observe, and appreciate all that we already have and have been blessed to receive.
Some may wonder, given all that I have been through with the loss of both of my legs, what do I have to be thankful for? Actually the list is too long to even begin to write here.
As I have written before, my friend Michelle McKinney Hammond said to me in the hospital, after the loss of my second leg, "Through great losses come great blessings." I have never forgotten her precious words. What Michelle said is true, the loss I have suffered physically has afforded me the time to reflect upon my situation, and I have chosen to see the good where one might find only hardship and dispair.
The personal strength I found within myself was certainly God sent and I am ever so grateful for having found it.
I am not saying that my life is not difficult, because it is, however, dwelling on what is so terrible does not lend itself to leading a happy and productive life.
The people who are currently in my life, and some who are no longer in my life, have each demonstrated their love and compassion for me throughout the entire ordeal of losing my legs, and most continue to do so.
How can I not be thankful for such wonderful family and friends? There are so many other possible scenarios that could have been so much worse for me than where I find myself today, physically, psychologically, and spiritually.
I am not hungry, I am not homeless, and I am not alone. I could have chosen to live a life of regrets, filled my days with wondering what could or should have been, driving myself crazy with feelings of guilt or living life in the past, however, I chose not to live that way.
We as individuals owe God and ourselves praise and thanksgiving for all that we now have and all that we will ever have.
As the holiday season is upon us, let us renew our appreciation for life itself and all of the opportunities we have to seek and find happiness and be thankful for our ability to do so.
Happy Thanksgiving to everyone today and every day.
*To leave a comment click the comment button below, to contact me personally, write me at: glennartinc@yahoo.com
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