When I was at the prosthetist's office a couple of weeks ago, Jason, my prosthetist, and I were having a discussion and we wound up talking about how amputees sometimes end up using all of their various walking aids to help them accomplish whatever is needed at that time to get the job done.
For example, I use my long legs when I drive, I walk with my walker and long legs from my wheelchair to my car and get in. When I climb stairs, I use my short legs because climbing stairs in my long legs is not possible for me at this time.
If I have to cover a long distance or if time and or fatigue enter the picture, I resort to using my wheelchair.
For a long time I felt as if I needed to use only one "tool," namely my short legs, and as a consequence of that feeling, I began to have guilt about not utilizing them as much as perhaps I should.
The fact of the matter is, as it turns out, that it is the combination of the canes, the walker, the shortlegs, the long legs and the wheelchair that seem to enable me to do the most various of tasks, choosing the appropriate tools suited to the appropriate job at hand.
As stated previously, this whole life as an amputee is an ever-evolving event. As time goes by, we as amputees, figure out what works best for each of us as individuals and also what means of ambulation we will use.
I feel blessed to have at my disposal all of the tools I need to accomplish most things I set out to do. I think this realization, which has taken a long time to arrive, has taught me that there is no right or wrong way to accomplishment, which then allows me to continue down my path to autonomy.
Last week I stained the balcony deck of the condo unit above mine. I knew I would not be able to do it in my long, and sometimes cumbersome, legs, nor would I be able to use my wheelchair, except as a means to get upstairs.
I donned my short legs and sat on the balcony deck and did my work. That seemingly simple job, staining a small deck, gave me a real feeling of accomplishment, in addition to earning a little money.
Sometimes what should have been a simple realization can take a long time to manifest itself. My ephipheny of sorts, was that using all of the tools available to me to accomplish various things is the simplest and most efficient way to live my life.
Let me make just one qualifying statement regarding my new realization, that is: just because I choose to use my short legs or wheelchair or whaever to accomplish a certain task, does not preclude me from continuing to try to improve my usage of the long legs and never give up on my goal of walking proficiently on them.
If you are new to this whole "life as an amputee" world it would behoove you to broaden your horizons and realize there is no right or wrong way to accomplishment.
Whatever means you use to reach a particular goal is perfectly fine. Don't get caught up in the method you used to complete a task, as I did, but rather, rejoice in the fact you dared to do something and you got it done.
It is certainly better to utilize whatever means that are necessary to perpetuate self-sufficiency than it is to do nothing at all and become dependant on others for everything. At least, that is the way I see it.
*To leave a comment hit the comment button below, to reach me personally write me at: glennartinc@yahoo.com
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Monday, October 8, 2012
Employment
I was recently reading an article in the magazine "In Motion" a publication produced by the Amputee Coalition, about the statistics of employment with regard to amputees.
I found the statistics interesting because I felt as if my situation was an unusual one. As it turns out only 20% of wheelchair and walker users are employed. Think about that, 80% of persons in wheelchairs or those who use walkers are unemployed, a staggering statistic.
It has not been easy for me to try to earn extra income. Needless to say I cannot do the interior decorative painting I used to do and enjoyed doing so much. Imagine yourself suddenly unable to do a job you have trained so hard to do through education or actual experience and then not being able to do it any longer.
Occasionally I am able to sell some of my artwork and I feel blessed to be able to at least contribute a little to my income through my artisitic ability.
When you lose one limb, even above the knee, and if you were able to keep one natural leg intact, your life isn't nearly as dramatically impacted as when you lose both legs, especially both legs above the knee.
I have discussed in past blog posts the repercussions of bilateral above knee amputation. It is not easy to forestall feelings of guilt about your inability to remain financially independent, the toll it takes on your income and the emotional impact of it on your psyche.
The degree of difficulty you may find depends on many contributing factors surrounding your limb loss.
One consideration to take into account is what it was that lead to your disability. If you lost a limb(s) through a traumatic incident like an accident or an act of war, chances are after the long and arduous recovery period, the rest of your body may recover almost fully.
Contrast that scenario with limb loss attained through the progression of disease, such as diabetes or vascular issues. Those persons may never fully recover physically to the same degree that an individual who sustained traumatic injury was able to recover. However the psycohological impact of traumatic injury I feel is greater than loss through disease.
Those who have suffered limb loss through disease may have compromised blood flow throughout other areas of their body and have to deal with the actual degenerative nature of the disease as it progresses.
As we know my leg losses were through vascular issues, namely chronic blood clots resulting in poor blood flow to my legs and feet. These factors may have contributed to my compromised ability to walk again especially with regard to endurance.
My main point is that your capacity to seek and find employment is dependent upon many factors.
Another consideration is the age at which you lost your limbs, assuming they were not a congenitial disorder. The earlier in your life you have lost a limb, a sad and unfortunate happenstance at any age, can work to your advantage at least slightly because you are younger, presumably stronger and can adapt more readily to change.
Additionally, when you are young you can adapt your future vocation and educational level based on your disability, seeking education and or training that take into account what you are physically capable of doing.
When you suffer limb loss later in life, adjustment isn't as easy and there is not as much time to seek and fulfill further education to help you develop new skills more adapted to your disability.
I hope this does not come across to my readers as excuses for not trying to do your best in all circumstances. I am simply trying to point out factors and situations you may not have considered previously.
For me it has been a soul searching mission to try to figure out at age 55 (in three weeks) what I can and will do in my future to stay actively seeking ways to sustain my own well being. I am constantly searching for creative new ways of making money and will continue to do so.
Currently I make a meager contribution with my artwork, which could get better, and I am actively seeking a roommate to help contribute to my household income.
Tomorrow I am staining the balcony of my upstairs neighbor, not a lot of money, but it helps. Staining the balcony shouldn't be that difficult for me, after all few people are closer to the ground than I am wearing my short legs.
By the way having a sense of humor about your situation isn't a bad idea either.
*To leave a comment click the comment button below, to contact me personally write me at: glennartinc@yahoo.com
I found the statistics interesting because I felt as if my situation was an unusual one. As it turns out only 20% of wheelchair and walker users are employed. Think about that, 80% of persons in wheelchairs or those who use walkers are unemployed, a staggering statistic.
It has not been easy for me to try to earn extra income. Needless to say I cannot do the interior decorative painting I used to do and enjoyed doing so much. Imagine yourself suddenly unable to do a job you have trained so hard to do through education or actual experience and then not being able to do it any longer.
Occasionally I am able to sell some of my artwork and I feel blessed to be able to at least contribute a little to my income through my artisitic ability.
When you lose one limb, even above the knee, and if you were able to keep one natural leg intact, your life isn't nearly as dramatically impacted as when you lose both legs, especially both legs above the knee.
I have discussed in past blog posts the repercussions of bilateral above knee amputation. It is not easy to forestall feelings of guilt about your inability to remain financially independent, the toll it takes on your income and the emotional impact of it on your psyche.
The degree of difficulty you may find depends on many contributing factors surrounding your limb loss.
One consideration to take into account is what it was that lead to your disability. If you lost a limb(s) through a traumatic incident like an accident or an act of war, chances are after the long and arduous recovery period, the rest of your body may recover almost fully.
Contrast that scenario with limb loss attained through the progression of disease, such as diabetes or vascular issues. Those persons may never fully recover physically to the same degree that an individual who sustained traumatic injury was able to recover. However the psycohological impact of traumatic injury I feel is greater than loss through disease.
Those who have suffered limb loss through disease may have compromised blood flow throughout other areas of their body and have to deal with the actual degenerative nature of the disease as it progresses.
As we know my leg losses were through vascular issues, namely chronic blood clots resulting in poor blood flow to my legs and feet. These factors may have contributed to my compromised ability to walk again especially with regard to endurance.
My main point is that your capacity to seek and find employment is dependent upon many factors.
Another consideration is the age at which you lost your limbs, assuming they were not a congenitial disorder. The earlier in your life you have lost a limb, a sad and unfortunate happenstance at any age, can work to your advantage at least slightly because you are younger, presumably stronger and can adapt more readily to change.
Additionally, when you are young you can adapt your future vocation and educational level based on your disability, seeking education and or training that take into account what you are physically capable of doing.
When you suffer limb loss later in life, adjustment isn't as easy and there is not as much time to seek and fulfill further education to help you develop new skills more adapted to your disability.
I hope this does not come across to my readers as excuses for not trying to do your best in all circumstances. I am simply trying to point out factors and situations you may not have considered previously.
For me it has been a soul searching mission to try to figure out at age 55 (in three weeks) what I can and will do in my future to stay actively seeking ways to sustain my own well being. I am constantly searching for creative new ways of making money and will continue to do so.
Currently I make a meager contribution with my artwork, which could get better, and I am actively seeking a roommate to help contribute to my household income.
By the way having a sense of humor about your situation isn't a bad idea either.
*To leave a comment click the comment button below, to contact me personally write me at: glennartinc@yahoo.com
Sunday, September 30, 2012
I Am Not a Victim
Normally I shy away from allowing my political views to influence what I write in this blog, however, given the events the have transpired recently in the political arena, I feel compelled to comment on the cold and callous remarks made by presidential hopeful, Mitt Romney.
I feel one of the greatest qualities a person can possess is their compassion for their fellow man. Without compassion, imagine what this world would be like. By showing compassion, sympathy and understanding to people whose lives have taken some hard hits, we demonstrate the humane side of our existence. A willingness to offer help and support to those who are less fortunate than ourselves exemplifies the very qualities that make us different from all other life forms, in essence it is what makes us human.
The comments made by Mitt Romney to a room full of wealthy political prospective donors, was reprehensible. Some may say that Mitt Romney was placating those donors, simply telling them what they wanted to hear, making sure they got some bang for their bucks, all in order to achieve his ultimate goal of receiving money to further his political agenda.
Even if he was placating those donors, the ease with which the words he spoke flowed forth, leads me to believe he was speaking from his heart. I believe this was the first time in American history that a presidential nominee has so utterly and completely dismissed half of the country he hopes to lead.
I suppose if I had to choose what part of his dismissive rant was the most offensive, it would be his belief that those who are poor, downtrodden, disabled, or uneducated see themselves as victims. As if to add more indignation to his disdain for half of the US population, he said that we of that group were unwilling to take responsibility for our lives.
I can only speak for myself by objecting adamantly that his evaluation and judgments are morally wrong and disheartening to say the least. Regarding his opinion that those of us who find ourselves in that infamous 47% feel entitled, I for one worked thirty five years for those alleged entitlements, how is that different from Mr. Romney expecting dividends from stock he has invested in?
You may wonder how all of this relates to my blog concerning limb loss. I have tried wholeheartedly and I believe successfully at not being a victim of my circumstances. Granted I have reached out for help from family and friends but that does not undermine all of the work both mentally and physically I have exerted to insure my independence.
I am not unlike thousands, if not millions, of others who have suffered hardship, in all of its forms, to overcome and work diligently to remain an automous person and productive citizen of my community.
How can a priviledged man, like Mitt Romey, pass on his vile and convoluted opinions about those who are not like him and dismiss them so readily? Is passing judgment and writing off an entire segment of the population part of what God, Christ and the Mormon Church has taught him?
Although I may not have reached my ultimate goal of walking full time and learning new job skills to become gainfully employed, I have taken full responsibility for my life. As I continue down my path I am constantly seeking ways to better my life and lift any burden of responsibility from my family and friends.
There are many other people in the disabled community who have overcome even greater obstacles than mine, risen above their disabilities and achieved great feats. Do you think they view themselves as victims?
When you suffer a debilitating loss, it is important to retain your personal dignity. It seems unfair, unjust and wrong for another individual, or group of individuals to attempt to rob you of the dignity and the accomplishments you have worked so hard to retain and achieve.
I saw Ann Romney commenting about how hard it has been for she and Mitt to be subjected to the rigors of political life, exposing every aspect of their personal lives to public scrunity. Guess what Governor and Mrs. Romney, I have a difficult time identifying with your version of how difficult your lives have been.
It is difficult for me to walk in your shoes because I have no feet or legs and yet I persevere, remain optimistic about the future and take responsibility for my life.
*To leave a comment hit the comment area below, to contact me personally write me at: glennartinc@yahoo.com
I feel one of the greatest qualities a person can possess is their compassion for their fellow man. Without compassion, imagine what this world would be like. By showing compassion, sympathy and understanding to people whose lives have taken some hard hits, we demonstrate the humane side of our existence. A willingness to offer help and support to those who are less fortunate than ourselves exemplifies the very qualities that make us different from all other life forms, in essence it is what makes us human.
The comments made by Mitt Romney to a room full of wealthy political prospective donors, was reprehensible. Some may say that Mitt Romney was placating those donors, simply telling them what they wanted to hear, making sure they got some bang for their bucks, all in order to achieve his ultimate goal of receiving money to further his political agenda.
Even if he was placating those donors, the ease with which the words he spoke flowed forth, leads me to believe he was speaking from his heart. I believe this was the first time in American history that a presidential nominee has so utterly and completely dismissed half of the country he hopes to lead.
I suppose if I had to choose what part of his dismissive rant was the most offensive, it would be his belief that those who are poor, downtrodden, disabled, or uneducated see themselves as victims. As if to add more indignation to his disdain for half of the US population, he said that we of that group were unwilling to take responsibility for our lives.
I can only speak for myself by objecting adamantly that his evaluation and judgments are morally wrong and disheartening to say the least. Regarding his opinion that those of us who find ourselves in that infamous 47% feel entitled, I for one worked thirty five years for those alleged entitlements, how is that different from Mr. Romney expecting dividends from stock he has invested in?
You may wonder how all of this relates to my blog concerning limb loss. I have tried wholeheartedly and I believe successfully at not being a victim of my circumstances. Granted I have reached out for help from family and friends but that does not undermine all of the work both mentally and physically I have exerted to insure my independence.
I am not unlike thousands, if not millions, of others who have suffered hardship, in all of its forms, to overcome and work diligently to remain an automous person and productive citizen of my community.
How can a priviledged man, like Mitt Romey, pass on his vile and convoluted opinions about those who are not like him and dismiss them so readily? Is passing judgment and writing off an entire segment of the population part of what God, Christ and the Mormon Church has taught him?
Although I may not have reached my ultimate goal of walking full time and learning new job skills to become gainfully employed, I have taken full responsibility for my life. As I continue down my path I am constantly seeking ways to better my life and lift any burden of responsibility from my family and friends.
There are many other people in the disabled community who have overcome even greater obstacles than mine, risen above their disabilities and achieved great feats. Do you think they view themselves as victims?
When you suffer a debilitating loss, it is important to retain your personal dignity. It seems unfair, unjust and wrong for another individual, or group of individuals to attempt to rob you of the dignity and the accomplishments you have worked so hard to retain and achieve.
I saw Ann Romney commenting about how hard it has been for she and Mitt to be subjected to the rigors of political life, exposing every aspect of their personal lives to public scrunity. Guess what Governor and Mrs. Romney, I have a difficult time identifying with your version of how difficult your lives have been.
It is difficult for me to walk in your shoes because I have no feet or legs and yet I persevere, remain optimistic about the future and take responsibility for my life.
*To leave a comment hit the comment area below, to contact me personally write me at: glennartinc@yahoo.com
Saturday, September 22, 2012
All Good Things Must Come to an End
I received a letter from MediCare on August 27 stating I had reached $1700 of the$1880 allotment for physical therapy for the calendar year 2012.
I realize I have received a great deal of physical therapy at an extremely high monetary cost, but what was so disheartening was that this newly imposed cap on physical therapy was done retroactively. In other words, had we, my physical therapist and myself, known at the beginning of this year that there was a cap on the coverage, we would have spaced the PT sessions appropriately, thus spreading them out to last the entire year.
As of the writing of this blog entry I have no more physical therapy until January 2013, if then. Bear in mind I have been going to PT for way over a year continuously and have become somewhat dependent upon it.
I did not begin this blog segment to start a complaint session about the pitfalls of our MediCare system, but rather I wanted to explain to my readers that when you are in a situation similar to mine and have been going to PT at least once a week for over a year, you become accustomed to going.
It may sound strange to some people that you would look forward to physical therapy, but I in fact do look forward to it. I look forward to it for many reasons.
First and foremost it has helped me tremendously to regain my strength and put in place the necessary tools needed to learn to walk again.
Secondly, the encouragement and advice I received at PT made me feel good about myself and my accomplishments. As I have stated in previous blog passages, I have developed very special relationships not only with my physical therapist, Chris, but also everyone in the physical therapy department from the receptionists Akella and Eddie Mae to the supervisor, Chuck.
I suppose a person could have treated PT as a way of reaching a goal, but it was so much more than that to me. I feel I took a situation that some could have chosen to dread and turned it into a fun and funny endeavor, laughing, joking, having fun and at the same time learning and also helping to teach others.
My weekly visits to PT became a part of my life's routine. I have developed relationships with a lot of people at PT and I know they looked forward to seeing me as much as I looked forward to seeing them.
I will probably return to physical therapy in 2013 periodically to have my progress monitored and I am happy about that.
One of the regrettable things about having a good attitude toward medical treatments and developing relationships with those who are helping you, is that inevitably it must come to an end. If I were honest with myself, I could have cut back on PT a while ago but I became dependent upon going, getting out of the house, and surrounding myself with people I grew to love and appreciate.
I am happy and thankful that I have met so many wonderful people through my experience as out patient at Rush University Medical Center's Physical Therapy Department.
I hope I have touched the lives of those whom I have had the peasure of interacting with as much as they have touched my life.
By the way, Chris you still have not written the guest blog spot you promised me you would. I am sure you will get to it.
Heartfelt thanks and love to those at the Physical Therapy Department at Rush.
Love, Glenn
*To post a comment click the comments button below, to contact to me personally write to me at: glennrtinc@yahoo.com
Saturday, September 15, 2012
Finding a Roommate
I have been trying to find a roommate for the last three months. I don't know why it has been so difficult.
When I first began searching for someone to help share living expenses I never dreamt it would be such a arduous task. I joined a couple of roommate search websites, they proved futile. Even though they advertise to be free, the only thing that is free is posting the ad itself. After that, in order to respond to an interested party you had to purchase the "premium membership" which cost thirty dollars.
I paid the premium membership fee for a month on two different websites. I never had one response that led to a face to face meeting to view my condo. I reluctantly decided to try Craigslist, much to my surprise I have received more responses from that than from either pay as you go website.
Nevertheless, nothing has actually worked out as far as finding a suitable roommate.Of course it should go without saying I have had endless attempted scam artists trying their best to bilk me out of money. It saddens me to know that dishonest people put so much time and energy into these elaborate scams to try to cheat honest people out of their money. What is even sadder is that they sometimes succeed in cheating some people, who are more trusting than I, despite my reputation that has been described as a Pollyanna.
When I first began placing my "roommate wanted" ad on Craigslist, I felt compelled to disclose that I was disabled, a wheelchair user. I felt I was being honest and upfront about myself and I didn't want to be deceitful or misleading. After talking to several people, it was determined that I was revealing too much information too quickly.
After all, I wouldn't put in the ad that I was 500 pounds overweight, even if I really were, nor would I put that I was Africian American or that I wore glasses, why then would I put that I was disabled?
I decided the right time to mention my disability was after a person has expressed a real interest in viewing my condo, before they actually arrived at my doorstep. My sister advised she would never verbally tell them, she would simply open the door seated in a wheelchair.
As the three months have gone by, I have had six or eight face to face meetings with prospective roommates none of these have worked out for various reasons. I have begun to wonder if my disability has hindered my success in finding a roommate.
I understand that people might have the misconception that I am looking for a roommate/caretaker. I have tried to reassure people I was simply looking for a suitable roommate to help share living expenses, nothing less, nothing more. I have explained I have a personal assistant that works for me three days a week, who assists me in doing things I am no longer able to do myself.
Perhaps I am fooling myself by feeling as if I do not look or act like a helpless person, dependent upon others for everything in my life. I feel as if I look healthy, strong, not overweight, and in good shape, all things considered.
I have been trying to put myself in the prospective roommate's position as best I can. I wonder if a younger person, whose life experiences have not yet revealed the pitfalls that life can present, who still feels invinicible and immuned to physical casualities, would want to be roommates with someone who has physical issues?
I wonder would I have been willing to "deal with" a disabled person when I myself was not physically disabled, young and healthy, I am not sure.
Am I crazy to think this whole disability and wheelchair thing has a stigma attached to it that is hindering me from finding a roommate? Do some people not want to face another person who has suffered a debilitating loss, perhaps because it forces them to face their own human vunerability?
I think about my beautiful condo, the price I am asking, and the location, which seem to be on target with every other ad I have reviewed on Craigslist and I cannot help but wonder what, if any, my disability has played in my search for a roommate.
I know eventually I will find the right person but it sure has been tough so far. What do you think have I gone off the deep end?
*To leave a comment , hit the comments word below, to contact to me personally write me at: glennartinc@yahoo.com
When I first began searching for someone to help share living expenses I never dreamt it would be such a arduous task. I joined a couple of roommate search websites, they proved futile. Even though they advertise to be free, the only thing that is free is posting the ad itself. After that, in order to respond to an interested party you had to purchase the "premium membership" which cost thirty dollars.
I paid the premium membership fee for a month on two different websites. I never had one response that led to a face to face meeting to view my condo. I reluctantly decided to try Craigslist, much to my surprise I have received more responses from that than from either pay as you go website.
Nevertheless, nothing has actually worked out as far as finding a suitable roommate.Of course it should go without saying I have had endless attempted scam artists trying their best to bilk me out of money. It saddens me to know that dishonest people put so much time and energy into these elaborate scams to try to cheat honest people out of their money. What is even sadder is that they sometimes succeed in cheating some people, who are more trusting than I, despite my reputation that has been described as a Pollyanna.
When I first began placing my "roommate wanted" ad on Craigslist, I felt compelled to disclose that I was disabled, a wheelchair user. I felt I was being honest and upfront about myself and I didn't want to be deceitful or misleading. After talking to several people, it was determined that I was revealing too much information too quickly.
After all, I wouldn't put in the ad that I was 500 pounds overweight, even if I really were, nor would I put that I was Africian American or that I wore glasses, why then would I put that I was disabled?
I decided the right time to mention my disability was after a person has expressed a real interest in viewing my condo, before they actually arrived at my doorstep. My sister advised she would never verbally tell them, she would simply open the door seated in a wheelchair.
As the three months have gone by, I have had six or eight face to face meetings with prospective roommates none of these have worked out for various reasons. I have begun to wonder if my disability has hindered my success in finding a roommate.
I understand that people might have the misconception that I am looking for a roommate/caretaker. I have tried to reassure people I was simply looking for a suitable roommate to help share living expenses, nothing less, nothing more. I have explained I have a personal assistant that works for me three days a week, who assists me in doing things I am no longer able to do myself.
Perhaps I am fooling myself by feeling as if I do not look or act like a helpless person, dependent upon others for everything in my life. I feel as if I look healthy, strong, not overweight, and in good shape, all things considered.
I have been trying to put myself in the prospective roommate's position as best I can. I wonder if a younger person, whose life experiences have not yet revealed the pitfalls that life can present, who still feels invinicible and immuned to physical casualities, would want to be roommates with someone who has physical issues?
I wonder would I have been willing to "deal with" a disabled person when I myself was not physically disabled, young and healthy, I am not sure.
Am I crazy to think this whole disability and wheelchair thing has a stigma attached to it that is hindering me from finding a roommate? Do some people not want to face another person who has suffered a debilitating loss, perhaps because it forces them to face their own human vunerability?
I think about my beautiful condo, the price I am asking, and the location, which seem to be on target with every other ad I have reviewed on Craigslist and I cannot help but wonder what, if any, my disability has played in my search for a roommate.
I know eventually I will find the right person but it sure has been tough so far. What do you think have I gone off the deep end?
*To leave a comment , hit the comments word below, to contact to me personally write me at: glennartinc@yahoo.com
Saturday, September 8, 2012
Climbing the Ladder Figuratively
Some people, including myself, never seem to cut themselves any slack. In an attempt to accomplish and gain more, we sometimes forget to take a step back and examine our lives.
A couple of weeks ago, Chris, my physical therapist, said that she was thinking about me and what I was able to do after the loss of my second leg in January 2011. What she was really referring to was the fact that after having lost both legs I was able and allowed to go immediately back home. She explained most people in that situation would have ended up in a nursing home, at least for a while.
I never really gave it much thought, I guess because I never realized that the situation, at that time, was so precarious. It never dawned on me that I would not be going directly home from the hospital, isn't that what everyone does? Apparently not.
All of this is a roundabout way of saying that even in my position, I still take some things for granted, have a tendency to be too self critical, and not allow myself to actually be proud of what I have accomplished, given my circumstances.
It is almost like walking a tight rope, or balancing on two prosthetic legs, to strike a compromise between accomplishment and complacency. I feel that if I become too satisified with the way things are, it will preclude me from accomplishing more. This is not all together true.
After reflecting upon this balance of accomplishment versus complacency, I realize you reach a point where you can and should give yourself credit for what has already been achieved regardless of whether or not you achieve more in the future.
Without playing into that old comparison game, we all tend to do from time to time, it is perfectly alright to take a breather and be proud of who you are and what you have done.
If we as individuals can look at our lives and feel any sense of attainment, we owe it to ourselves to acknowledge and appreciate what we have done, even if that means, in our own minds, we have not arrived at where we ultimately want to be.
Spending our lives being dissatisfied with what we have not yet completed can prevent us from realizing and being cognizant of what we have already done. It can become a futile merry-go-round robbing us of our well deserved happiness.
I sometimes forget how amazing it is that I am able to live on my own, drive my own car, and even climb stairs, without the benefit of either one of my legs. If these are not accomplishments, than I have forgotten what accomplishment means.
I feel I have the type of personality that is always driven, I strive for a sense of accomplishment, always reaching for the next rung on the ladder, seeking to climb higher and higher.
Sometimes when we are climbing those rungs on the ladder of our life, we need to look down and see how far we have already climbed. Who knows we may learn to enjoy the view from this height, if not, we will climb higher.
The point is we need to stop and enjoy the view from where we are, be thankful and proud we were able to reach the point where we now find ourselves, and realize the long climb has already been worth it.
*If you would like to leave a comment, click the comment box below. To reach me personally, write to my email address: glennartinc@yahoo.com
A couple of weeks ago, Chris, my physical therapist, said that she was thinking about me and what I was able to do after the loss of my second leg in January 2011. What she was really referring to was the fact that after having lost both legs I was able and allowed to go immediately back home. She explained most people in that situation would have ended up in a nursing home, at least for a while.
I never really gave it much thought, I guess because I never realized that the situation, at that time, was so precarious. It never dawned on me that I would not be going directly home from the hospital, isn't that what everyone does? Apparently not.
All of this is a roundabout way of saying that even in my position, I still take some things for granted, have a tendency to be too self critical, and not allow myself to actually be proud of what I have accomplished, given my circumstances.
It is almost like walking a tight rope, or balancing on two prosthetic legs, to strike a compromise between accomplishment and complacency. I feel that if I become too satisified with the way things are, it will preclude me from accomplishing more. This is not all together true.
After reflecting upon this balance of accomplishment versus complacency, I realize you reach a point where you can and should give yourself credit for what has already been achieved regardless of whether or not you achieve more in the future.
Without playing into that old comparison game, we all tend to do from time to time, it is perfectly alright to take a breather and be proud of who you are and what you have done.
If we as individuals can look at our lives and feel any sense of attainment, we owe it to ourselves to acknowledge and appreciate what we have done, even if that means, in our own minds, we have not arrived at where we ultimately want to be.
Spending our lives being dissatisfied with what we have not yet completed can prevent us from realizing and being cognizant of what we have already done. It can become a futile merry-go-round robbing us of our well deserved happiness.
I sometimes forget how amazing it is that I am able to live on my own, drive my own car, and even climb stairs, without the benefit of either one of my legs. If these are not accomplishments, than I have forgotten what accomplishment means.
I feel I have the type of personality that is always driven, I strive for a sense of accomplishment, always reaching for the next rung on the ladder, seeking to climb higher and higher.
Sometimes when we are climbing those rungs on the ladder of our life, we need to look down and see how far we have already climbed. Who knows we may learn to enjoy the view from this height, if not, we will climb higher.
The point is we need to stop and enjoy the view from where we are, be thankful and proud we were able to reach the point where we now find ourselves, and realize the long climb has already been worth it.
*If you would like to leave a comment, click the comment box below. To reach me personally, write to my email address: glennartinc@yahoo.com
Friday, August 31, 2012
My Mother's Death
Today is the seventeenth anniversary of my mother's death. It is hard to believe it has been so long. It is funny how as time goes by, and even though you have a lot of memories of the people whom you have loved, it almost becomes like a dream.
The longer you have been seperated from someone because of their death, your memories become more and more hazy. I hate that.
I remember seventeen years ago when my youngest sister, Delpha, called me to tell me our mother had passed away in her sleep, it was a Thursday. At first I didn't believe what she was telling me was true, not because I actually thought she wasn't telling the truth, but rather that she was mistaken.
My disbelief was so strong I asked to speak to the EMT who was still there at their apartment, to ask whether what my sister told me was true.
After I hung up the phone I collapsed on the floor crying hysterically for quite a while, I was in shock and disbelief. My Mom was not in the best of health but I had just talked to her two days before and I had no indication that she was in any imminent health crisis.
As it turned out I was in Indianapolis for the Labor Day holiday weekend, I had not been home for a visit for two years. I called my Mom on a Tuesday to tell her I was in town and that I was planning a pool party at my friend Mark's house on Saturday. I asked her to come to Mark's for the party, of course I offered to pick her up and bring her back home afterward.
On the day I had originally planned the pool party, we buried my Mother.
As I have stated in other blog posts I keep a picture of my parents hanging on the wall in my bedroom. I talk to the picture all the time.
I know in my heart my Mother is still with me but I can't physically see or hear her in our physical plane. I am grateful that neither one of my parents lived long enough to see me go through the loss of both of my legs, I know how hard if would have been for them and all of the subsequent worry that would have ensued.
My Mother lived a difficult life, the loss of a child, two divorces, numerous medical and mental issues, and I have known for quite some time that she is in a happier place, free from the constraints and hardships of this life.
I just wanted to take the time to acknowledge her death and to voice how much I miss her.
Mom, wherever you are I know you are always watching over me with loving eyes and loving thoughts.
Thank you for contributing to the kind of person I am today, I hope I make you proud.
Glenn
*To comment on this post hit the comment box below. To contact me personally write me at: glennartinc@yahoo.com
The longer you have been seperated from someone because of their death, your memories become more and more hazy. I hate that.
I remember seventeen years ago when my youngest sister, Delpha, called me to tell me our mother had passed away in her sleep, it was a Thursday. At first I didn't believe what she was telling me was true, not because I actually thought she wasn't telling the truth, but rather that she was mistaken.
My disbelief was so strong I asked to speak to the EMT who was still there at their apartment, to ask whether what my sister told me was true.
After I hung up the phone I collapsed on the floor crying hysterically for quite a while, I was in shock and disbelief. My Mom was not in the best of health but I had just talked to her two days before and I had no indication that she was in any imminent health crisis.
As it turned out I was in Indianapolis for the Labor Day holiday weekend, I had not been home for a visit for two years. I called my Mom on a Tuesday to tell her I was in town and that I was planning a pool party at my friend Mark's house on Saturday. I asked her to come to Mark's for the party, of course I offered to pick her up and bring her back home afterward.
On the day I had originally planned the pool party, we buried my Mother.
As I have stated in other blog posts I keep a picture of my parents hanging on the wall in my bedroom. I talk to the picture all the time.
I know in my heart my Mother is still with me but I can't physically see or hear her in our physical plane. I am grateful that neither one of my parents lived long enough to see me go through the loss of both of my legs, I know how hard if would have been for them and all of the subsequent worry that would have ensued.
My Mother lived a difficult life, the loss of a child, two divorces, numerous medical and mental issues, and I have known for quite some time that she is in a happier place, free from the constraints and hardships of this life.
I just wanted to take the time to acknowledge her death and to voice how much I miss her.
Mom, wherever you are I know you are always watching over me with loving eyes and loving thoughts.
Thank you for contributing to the kind of person I am today, I hope I make you proud.
Glenn
*To comment on this post hit the comment box below. To contact me personally write me at: glennartinc@yahoo.com
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)