I am at my sister Rhonda's house for the Christmas Holidays. This is the first time I have celebrated Christmas at Rhonda's since the loss of my second leg. Last year as you recall I was actually in the hospital during the Christmas holidays having just lost my left leg. The previous year I still had my left leg but while I was home I started having problems which resulted in an emergency trip to a hospital in Indianapolis. The year before that I had lost my right leg and was unable to go home to Indianapolis and Rhonda and her family brought Christmas to my house as a surprise.
Needless to say I am thankful to have a medically problem free Christmas celebration this year. I guess the day after Christmas my thoughts are turning toward this upcoming new year, what goals I will set and what I hope to accomplish in 2012.
I have recently talked about the short leg program I am currently undertaking, thus far I have made some strides (figuratively). At physical therapy I have been learning how to fall properly
and get back up from a fall. I know it may sound strange to speak about falling properly, but there are ways in which to fall that can help prevent serious injury to your face and head. It is surprising to me that learning to get back up onto these shortened legs from the ground is fairly easy, maybe it is because I am not that far from the ground to begin with.
I feel that after these holidays have passed it is time to really focus on learning to walk proficiently and undertake household chores and the like while wearing the "baby legs." As I have already mentioned, this graduated short leg protocol dictates that before the legs can be lengthened, the prosthetist and therapist will determine that I have reached the highest level of skill possible on the shortest leg length and I will then ready to move up to a longer length of legs.
Based on what I have experienced thus far, I don't think this will be as quick as I has originally hoped. This entire leg loss experience has been wrought with the usual complications of getting the legs to fit properly and comfortably, the short leg procedure has demonstrated already it's share of problems.
Visualization and a willingness to succeed are qualities I will invoke to assist me in achieving my goal. I know that it really doesn't matter how long it takes to achieve a goal, what really matters is reaching the summit and the self satisfaction I derive from my accomplishments. However, I hope to move on to a longer length within the next four to six months if not sooner, time will tell.
Life is always full of ups and downs, twists and turns, fear of the unknown and if we are going to grow as human beings we have to learn to go with life's flow. Part of the flow is learning to take the situations that are beyond our control and use them as life lessons. Imparting the knowledge we have gained through our life lessons to others and being receptive to knowledge given by others to us through their experiences.
As a new year is upon us, I look forward to a year of hope, happiness, prosperity, accomplishment and joy, all of these wishes I impart to you.
By the way I got a book from my younger sister, Delpha, called, "Writing the Memoir, From Truth to Art" by Judith Barrington, thus has begun the research into how I will write a book. A great way to start a new year....
Monday, December 26, 2011
Saturday, December 17, 2011
One Year Later
On Wednesday December 8, 2010 I had just returned from a ten day Caribbean cruise with my friend, Shawn, his sister Lisa and her husband Dan. I worked out everyday at the gym on the ship, I was tan, fit and happy.
I was excited to get back to my regular routine of working out at Cheetah Gym, and seeing my friends, while at the same time anticipating the holidays with my sister, Rhonda, her family and all the joy that it brings.
Before I embarked on the cruise I had gone to Rush University Medical Center to have a blood flow test, conducted as a precautionary measure to help alleviate any worry that I would have any vascular issues while at sea or portside in a foreign country.
Fortunately the test found the blood flow through the remaining left leg and foot satisfactory, that finding gave me the green light I needed to go forward with the cruise.
Bear in mind I had undergone quite a lot of problems with my left leg earlier in the year 2010 and in the latter part of 2009. During the course of 2009-2010 I had three vein by-passes, one bout with compartment syndrome, and tests too numerous to mention.
Of course since the loss of my right leg in July 2008, I had entertained thoughts about the possibility of losing my remaining left leg (who wouldn't?). These thoughts gave me pause. I never dwelled on the thought of losing my left leg because such thoughts I felt were unhealthy and counterproductive. However, I wouldn't be human if had not considered the possibility of losing my one remaining leg.
I remember disclosing the thought to my friend, Ruth, that I didn't know if I could carry on, if I lost my left leg. I felt that life would be too difficult and I would have no quality of life left.
On Saturday December 18, 2010 I went to Cheetah Gym at 7:00 am as I did every Saturday that I was physically able. I did my usual ninety minute workout, hugged my friend Rick good bye, as I always did, then took the elevator downstairs. I bumped into another friend of mine, Carl, we talked for a few minutes and I was on my merry way.
I was by the locker room when I finished the conversation with Carl, I walked about sixty feet to an area with couches, computers and the entrance doors. By the time I had walked that sixty feet something dramatic and forever life altering had occurred.
The blood clots I had experienced in the past and have spoken of often, I describe as a water faucet being turned on or being turned off. At first the water (my blood) is flowing, like the turned on faucet and then the faucet is turned off (an occlusion or clot) and the flow stops.
One of the most insidious things about blood clots is their unpredictability, one moment you are fine, the next you are in a dire situation.
I suppose it is human nature to teeter on the brink of denial, especially if you have medical issues.
I knew when I sat on the couch near the entrance to Cheetah Gym, I was experiencing a blood clot, after all I had many similar physical symptoms on numerous previous occasions. In that sixty foot walk from the locker room area to the front of the gym, a blood clot had solidified, significantly, if not completely, compromising the blood flow to the lower part of my left leg and foot.
It took about thirty minutes for sufficient blood flow to be established before I was able to walk to my car and drive home. I knew in my heart of hearts I was in deep trouble. I immediately dove into the pool of denial.
I prayed to God to not let it be true. I am no stranger to God or to prayer, I do not use prayer only in times of trouble. I prayed and pray regularily not only for help but also to give thanks. My prayers of praise and gratitude to God for the blessings bestowed upon me were and are a part of my everyday life.
The rest of that Saturday I tried to believe that I was mistaken about this blood clot. I knew I wasn't mistaken but you want it to be imaginary, a self deducing miscalculation. You may deny something all you want and wish it to be untrue, but the physical truth is there to be felt and seen whether you want it to be or not.
I was afraid to remove my shoe and sock, out of the fear of what I would find. Sure enough when I did look at my naked foot, it was as cold as ice and as white as snow. The sight of that frightful paleness and the feel of that coldness hits you in the pit of your stomach.
Tears began to stream down my face. I realized that something I had hoped would never happen, had in fact, happened.
I spent the rest of that long day and sleepless night lying in bed with my left leg draped over the side with a heating pad trying to warm my cold semi-lifeless foot and leg.
Of course this feeling of denial is superseded by the pain of muscles starved for their life sustaining blood. It is an achiness difficult to describe in words and about as uncomfortable as is possible. The relentless coldness, numbness, lack of color and utter helplessness I felt, led me to call my assistant to drive me to the hospital emergency room, early Sunday morning December 19.
The rest is bit of a blur. I know they were obiviously unable to save my leg. A complete collapse of all the bypasses had occurred.
I had contacted one of my sisters, Rhonda, either before I left for the hospital or after I arrived to inform her of the occurance. I waited because I did not want to alarm her unecessarily.
I am not sure of the exact day or date of the amputation of my left leg, somewhere a day or two before Christmas 2010.
You may be thinking why is he recalling all of this? Well, tomorrow is the one year anniversary of the beginning of the end of my left leg. Monumental events that occur in our lives leave indelible scars that shape our present circumstances and our present day outlook.
This blog, http://www.glennlifewithoutlegs.blogspot.com/, came about as a result of losing my left leg in December 2010. I always strive to be honest about what has happened to me. I thought the recollection of what led me to where I am today, would help you understand me, what I have overcome, and where my life is.
Please don't think I write these things to evoke sympathy or as a way of fishing for compliments about my ability to overcome adversity.
My hope is that these words will help someone, anyone, realize we as human beings and with God's help, have the ability and strength to carry on.
If my words reach someone who is feeling the same helplessness I felt or grappling with hopelessness, I want my words to be a beacon of hope for them or for you.
As The Bible says, and I am paraphrasing, "a lamp is not lit to be hidden under a basket, but to be placed on a lampstand to bring light to the entire room." My interpretation is that if my experiences can be of service and or comfort to another I am going to share them and perhaps make someone see things from a different perspective.
I feel privileged to be in a position to tell my story and share my words with others and there by be a small glimmer of light and hope to someone else's future.
I think the drastic manifestation of my complete leg loss was meant to bring me here to share my story and to help my fellow man live better, more hopeful and thankful lives.
I hope this path I walk, this blog I write and this life I live, brings love, hope and compassion to you and to our world.
I was excited to get back to my regular routine of working out at Cheetah Gym, and seeing my friends, while at the same time anticipating the holidays with my sister, Rhonda, her family and all the joy that it brings.
Before I embarked on the cruise I had gone to Rush University Medical Center to have a blood flow test, conducted as a precautionary measure to help alleviate any worry that I would have any vascular issues while at sea or portside in a foreign country.
Fortunately the test found the blood flow through the remaining left leg and foot satisfactory, that finding gave me the green light I needed to go forward with the cruise.
Bear in mind I had undergone quite a lot of problems with my left leg earlier in the year 2010 and in the latter part of 2009. During the course of 2009-2010 I had three vein by-passes, one bout with compartment syndrome, and tests too numerous to mention.
Of course since the loss of my right leg in July 2008, I had entertained thoughts about the possibility of losing my remaining left leg (who wouldn't?). These thoughts gave me pause. I never dwelled on the thought of losing my left leg because such thoughts I felt were unhealthy and counterproductive. However, I wouldn't be human if had not considered the possibility of losing my one remaining leg.
I remember disclosing the thought to my friend, Ruth, that I didn't know if I could carry on, if I lost my left leg. I felt that life would be too difficult and I would have no quality of life left.
On Saturday December 18, 2010 I went to Cheetah Gym at 7:00 am as I did every Saturday that I was physically able. I did my usual ninety minute workout, hugged my friend Rick good bye, as I always did, then took the elevator downstairs. I bumped into another friend of mine, Carl, we talked for a few minutes and I was on my merry way.
I was by the locker room when I finished the conversation with Carl, I walked about sixty feet to an area with couches, computers and the entrance doors. By the time I had walked that sixty feet something dramatic and forever life altering had occurred.
The blood clots I had experienced in the past and have spoken of often, I describe as a water faucet being turned on or being turned off. At first the water (my blood) is flowing, like the turned on faucet and then the faucet is turned off (an occlusion or clot) and the flow stops.
One of the most insidious things about blood clots is their unpredictability, one moment you are fine, the next you are in a dire situation.
I suppose it is human nature to teeter on the brink of denial, especially if you have medical issues.
I knew when I sat on the couch near the entrance to Cheetah Gym, I was experiencing a blood clot, after all I had many similar physical symptoms on numerous previous occasions. In that sixty foot walk from the locker room area to the front of the gym, a blood clot had solidified, significantly, if not completely, compromising the blood flow to the lower part of my left leg and foot.
It took about thirty minutes for sufficient blood flow to be established before I was able to walk to my car and drive home. I knew in my heart of hearts I was in deep trouble. I immediately dove into the pool of denial.
I prayed to God to not let it be true. I am no stranger to God or to prayer, I do not use prayer only in times of trouble. I prayed and pray regularily not only for help but also to give thanks. My prayers of praise and gratitude to God for the blessings bestowed upon me were and are a part of my everyday life.
The rest of that Saturday I tried to believe that I was mistaken about this blood clot. I knew I wasn't mistaken but you want it to be imaginary, a self deducing miscalculation. You may deny something all you want and wish it to be untrue, but the physical truth is there to be felt and seen whether you want it to be or not.
I was afraid to remove my shoe and sock, out of the fear of what I would find. Sure enough when I did look at my naked foot, it was as cold as ice and as white as snow. The sight of that frightful paleness and the feel of that coldness hits you in the pit of your stomach.
Tears began to stream down my face. I realized that something I had hoped would never happen, had in fact, happened.
I spent the rest of that long day and sleepless night lying in bed with my left leg draped over the side with a heating pad trying to warm my cold semi-lifeless foot and leg.
Of course this feeling of denial is superseded by the pain of muscles starved for their life sustaining blood. It is an achiness difficult to describe in words and about as uncomfortable as is possible. The relentless coldness, numbness, lack of color and utter helplessness I felt, led me to call my assistant to drive me to the hospital emergency room, early Sunday morning December 19.
The rest is bit of a blur. I know they were obiviously unable to save my leg. A complete collapse of all the bypasses had occurred.
I had contacted one of my sisters, Rhonda, either before I left for the hospital or after I arrived to inform her of the occurance. I waited because I did not want to alarm her unecessarily.
I am not sure of the exact day or date of the amputation of my left leg, somewhere a day or two before Christmas 2010.
You may be thinking why is he recalling all of this? Well, tomorrow is the one year anniversary of the beginning of the end of my left leg. Monumental events that occur in our lives leave indelible scars that shape our present circumstances and our present day outlook.
This blog, http://www.glennlifewithoutlegs.blogspot.com/, came about as a result of losing my left leg in December 2010. I always strive to be honest about what has happened to me. I thought the recollection of what led me to where I am today, would help you understand me, what I have overcome, and where my life is.
Please don't think I write these things to evoke sympathy or as a way of fishing for compliments about my ability to overcome adversity.
My hope is that these words will help someone, anyone, realize we as human beings and with God's help, have the ability and strength to carry on.
If my words reach someone who is feeling the same helplessness I felt or grappling with hopelessness, I want my words to be a beacon of hope for them or for you.
As The Bible says, and I am paraphrasing, "a lamp is not lit to be hidden under a basket, but to be placed on a lampstand to bring light to the entire room." My interpretation is that if my experiences can be of service and or comfort to another I am going to share them and perhaps make someone see things from a different perspective.
I feel privileged to be in a position to tell my story and share my words with others and there by be a small glimmer of light and hope to someone else's future.
I think the drastic manifestation of my complete leg loss was meant to bring me here to share my story and to help my fellow man live better, more hopeful and thankful lives.
I hope this path I walk, this blog I write and this life I live, brings love, hope and compassion to you and to our world.
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Finding a Creative Outlet
Art has kept me sane. I have found that throughout all of my medical ordeals it has been my passion for creating art that has helped keep me on track.
When I paint or draw or even contemplate my next art creation those processes help me to release negativity, frustration and boredom. When you are in a situation similar to mine, keeping your hands and mind busy with constructive endeavors help to eliminate stress.
While focussing on creating a painting for example, my mind is preoccupied with what I will do, how I will do it, and then the actual creation of my art. If I did not create creations my mind might want to wander into dangerous territories like self pity, worry, anger, frustration and the like.
I have always been interested in artisitic types of things, drawing, painting, or anything that involved creativity. I am so thankful I have that type of mind, a mind that looks for and seeks to create beauty.
If you are disabled or become disabled it is particularily important that you seek out for yourself a passion of some sort. That passion could be just about anything, reading, cooking, music, putting together model airplanes, sewing, it doesn't matter. What really matters is that you find something that interests you in your life and pursue it.
For me, art is almost a spiritual experience. I get lost in my artwork, creating it, improving it and analyzing it. It is hard, if not imossible, to worry about the problems in your life while you are focussed on your passion, be it art or something else. It is this concentration of focus in areas that bring you joy, that become a healthy escape from sometimes unpleasant life circumstances.
I remember my beloved best friend, Kevin, and how he always complained to me he didn't have any hobbies. I never understood that about him. Unfortunately, he was unable to develop a mindset that enabled him to see that he had great people skills and an ability to make people laugh. He could have become a comedian if he had worked at it. He was also a great cook, but he never pushed himself in that area. His lack of focus in a particular area of his life caused him much frusrtation and self critizing, leaving him with unfounded feelings of worthliness and failure.
As you may know, before the loss of my legs I used to be an interior decorative painter. I created faux finishes, murals, gold leafing, and a myriad of wall and ceiling treatments. Naturally after the leg loss, I am physically unable to continue doing such demanding types of work. Fortunately while working as a decorative painter, and even before then, I drew and painted on paper and canvas. After I was unable to work at such a physical level, I still had my canvas painting to fall back on.
Without my art I would not be in such a good psychological state, with respect to my outlook, in essence, my art has greatly enhanced, if not saved my life.
Lately I started a small business creating 12" X 12" paintings on canvas that feature children and baby's names. It brings me such joy to create these "mini murals" on canvas. It is reminscient of when I created full room size murals for children's rooms and nursuries, but on a much smaller and more managable scale.
Creativity in all of it's forms, I believe is a gift from God and through God. Your creative outlet whether it is visual art, music, writing or whatever it may be, is an outlet by which we as human beings can funnel our energy to an area that not only benefits us as an individual but to society as a whole.
It was by suggestion of my nephew, Justin, I started writing this blog. What has happened is I have discovered another creative release for myself, writing. I have thoroughly enjoyed putting my thoughts together and voicing them through the writing of this blog. It has not only improved my writing (some readers have told me) but has been a cathartic valve releasing what could have become pent up frustration, while at the same time giving me the opportunity to analyze myself and my thought processes, and finally, perhaps saying something meaningful and benefical to others at the same time.
I had a bumper sticker one time that said, "Everyone is an Artist." I believe that is a true statement. Everyone has some type of creativity, the secret is to learn to tap into it and let it bring you joy, the elusive joy everyone is always seeking.
The writing of this blog segment has been part of my creative release valve for today and I thank you for participating in that joy with me.
By the way if you want to see some of those mini paintings I mentioned earlier, you may want to check out my website: http://www.thebabysnamepaintings.com/ I hope you like what you see. Bye for now.
When I paint or draw or even contemplate my next art creation those processes help me to release negativity, frustration and boredom. When you are in a situation similar to mine, keeping your hands and mind busy with constructive endeavors help to eliminate stress.
While focussing on creating a painting for example, my mind is preoccupied with what I will do, how I will do it, and then the actual creation of my art. If I did not create creations my mind might want to wander into dangerous territories like self pity, worry, anger, frustration and the like.
I have always been interested in artisitic types of things, drawing, painting, or anything that involved creativity. I am so thankful I have that type of mind, a mind that looks for and seeks to create beauty.
If you are disabled or become disabled it is particularily important that you seek out for yourself a passion of some sort. That passion could be just about anything, reading, cooking, music, putting together model airplanes, sewing, it doesn't matter. What really matters is that you find something that interests you in your life and pursue it.
For me, art is almost a spiritual experience. I get lost in my artwork, creating it, improving it and analyzing it. It is hard, if not imossible, to worry about the problems in your life while you are focussed on your passion, be it art or something else. It is this concentration of focus in areas that bring you joy, that become a healthy escape from sometimes unpleasant life circumstances.
I remember my beloved best friend, Kevin, and how he always complained to me he didn't have any hobbies. I never understood that about him. Unfortunately, he was unable to develop a mindset that enabled him to see that he had great people skills and an ability to make people laugh. He could have become a comedian if he had worked at it. He was also a great cook, but he never pushed himself in that area. His lack of focus in a particular area of his life caused him much frusrtation and self critizing, leaving him with unfounded feelings of worthliness and failure.
As you may know, before the loss of my legs I used to be an interior decorative painter. I created faux finishes, murals, gold leafing, and a myriad of wall and ceiling treatments. Naturally after the leg loss, I am physically unable to continue doing such demanding types of work. Fortunately while working as a decorative painter, and even before then, I drew and painted on paper and canvas. After I was unable to work at such a physical level, I still had my canvas painting to fall back on.
Without my art I would not be in such a good psychological state, with respect to my outlook, in essence, my art has greatly enhanced, if not saved my life.
Lately I started a small business creating 12" X 12" paintings on canvas that feature children and baby's names. It brings me such joy to create these "mini murals" on canvas. It is reminscient of when I created full room size murals for children's rooms and nursuries, but on a much smaller and more managable scale.
Creativity in all of it's forms, I believe is a gift from God and through God. Your creative outlet whether it is visual art, music, writing or whatever it may be, is an outlet by which we as human beings can funnel our energy to an area that not only benefits us as an individual but to society as a whole.
It was by suggestion of my nephew, Justin, I started writing this blog. What has happened is I have discovered another creative release for myself, writing. I have thoroughly enjoyed putting my thoughts together and voicing them through the writing of this blog. It has not only improved my writing (some readers have told me) but has been a cathartic valve releasing what could have become pent up frustration, while at the same time giving me the opportunity to analyze myself and my thought processes, and finally, perhaps saying something meaningful and benefical to others at the same time.
I had a bumper sticker one time that said, "Everyone is an Artist." I believe that is a true statement. Everyone has some type of creativity, the secret is to learn to tap into it and let it bring you joy, the elusive joy everyone is always seeking.
The writing of this blog segment has been part of my creative release valve for today and I thank you for participating in that joy with me.
By the way if you want to see some of those mini paintings I mentioned earlier, you may want to check out my website: http://www.thebabysnamepaintings.com/ I hope you like what you see. Bye for now.
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Carpal Tunnel Syndrome
Sometimes I think to myself, will it never end? It seems I am at the beginning stages of developing carpal tunnel syndrome.
In case your are unfamiliar with carpal tunnel, I will elaborate briefly. Your carpal tunnel is located at your wrist, it creates a "tunnel" under which a major blood vessel and a large bundle of nerves travel. These nerves control the complicated movements of your hand and fingers.
Through repetitive motion, these blood vessels and nerves become inflamed, increasing their size and becoming somewhat compressed, resulting in numbness in the fingertips and thumb.
I am reasonably sure that this occurred in my right hand for several reasons. First of all, it is the repetitive motion of my hand moving the wheelchair, something I hope to lessen as time goes on and I can walk more frequently on prosthetics.
I also put a lot of pressure on the palms of my hands while walking on a walker. Additionally, I put a lot of weight on my hands and shoulders when I transfer from the wheelchair to the bed, shower, etc. And last but not least, I work out five days a week using dumbells ( no one I know).
It is not an uncommon syndrome to develop given the fact my arms, hands and shoulders are doing a lot of the work my legs used to do.
Where do we go from here? Well, Although I haven't been officially diagnosed yet, the physical and occupational therapists are pretty sure it is CTS. I will be tested for this on Wednesday. I am going to my vascular surgeon, Chad Jacob's office, just to be sure it is not a vascular related problem.
After the diagnosis I will begin guess what? more therapy. This time it will be occupational therapy, doing excercises that will "open up" the carpal tunnel.
I have already begun wearing a wrist brace per Dr. Jacob's physician assistant's advice. This brace helps keep my wrist in a straight position, this is particularily imporant during sleep. I have also googled CTS and have viewed some YouTube videos of excercises that are supposed to be beneficial. I have already begun my own therapetic regimen pending the upcoming diagnosis and occupational therapy.
I would be lying if I said all of this does not bother me. What frustrates me most is that I have been able to maintain my independence in spite of losing both of my legs and now through some of the actions I take to remain independent, I have developed yet another problem.
Hopefully I have caught this syndrome in it's early stages, the beginnng of which is the numbness I now experience. CTS left untreated can cause an inability to grasp and hold items (like a paintbrush or pen) and eventually causing severe pain up the entire length of your arm. The worst case scenarios result in corrective surgery.
I am definitely not going there. I believe CTS can be treated successfully through excercise and diet.
I have often felt that in a world of too much information, too often, we can get information overload. This is the case with this whole carpal tunnel thing. I don't want to focus on what can happen, I want to focus on now and what I can do to help myself now.
I am remaining optimistic and proactive about all of this, but sometimes I think it would be nice to have a break from my medical issues.
As we get older it becomes a game of maintenance. We try to maintain what came so easily and freely when we were younger. As has been said many times before, "it sure beats the alternative."
Another quote I like is what Cher says, "Getting old sucks."
In case your are unfamiliar with carpal tunnel, I will elaborate briefly. Your carpal tunnel is located at your wrist, it creates a "tunnel" under which a major blood vessel and a large bundle of nerves travel. These nerves control the complicated movements of your hand and fingers.
Through repetitive motion, these blood vessels and nerves become inflamed, increasing their size and becoming somewhat compressed, resulting in numbness in the fingertips and thumb.
I am reasonably sure that this occurred in my right hand for several reasons. First of all, it is the repetitive motion of my hand moving the wheelchair, something I hope to lessen as time goes on and I can walk more frequently on prosthetics.
I also put a lot of pressure on the palms of my hands while walking on a walker. Additionally, I put a lot of weight on my hands and shoulders when I transfer from the wheelchair to the bed, shower, etc. And last but not least, I work out five days a week using dumbells ( no one I know).
It is not an uncommon syndrome to develop given the fact my arms, hands and shoulders are doing a lot of the work my legs used to do.
Where do we go from here? Well, Although I haven't been officially diagnosed yet, the physical and occupational therapists are pretty sure it is CTS. I will be tested for this on Wednesday. I am going to my vascular surgeon, Chad Jacob's office, just to be sure it is not a vascular related problem.
After the diagnosis I will begin guess what? more therapy. This time it will be occupational therapy, doing excercises that will "open up" the carpal tunnel.
I have already begun wearing a wrist brace per Dr. Jacob's physician assistant's advice. This brace helps keep my wrist in a straight position, this is particularily imporant during sleep. I have also googled CTS and have viewed some YouTube videos of excercises that are supposed to be beneficial. I have already begun my own therapetic regimen pending the upcoming diagnosis and occupational therapy.
I would be lying if I said all of this does not bother me. What frustrates me most is that I have been able to maintain my independence in spite of losing both of my legs and now through some of the actions I take to remain independent, I have developed yet another problem.
Hopefully I have caught this syndrome in it's early stages, the beginnng of which is the numbness I now experience. CTS left untreated can cause an inability to grasp and hold items (like a paintbrush or pen) and eventually causing severe pain up the entire length of your arm. The worst case scenarios result in corrective surgery.
I am definitely not going there. I believe CTS can be treated successfully through excercise and diet.
I have often felt that in a world of too much information, too often, we can get information overload. This is the case with this whole carpal tunnel thing. I don't want to focus on what can happen, I want to focus on now and what I can do to help myself now.
I am remaining optimistic and proactive about all of this, but sometimes I think it would be nice to have a break from my medical issues.
As we get older it becomes a game of maintenance. We try to maintain what came so easily and freely when we were younger. As has been said many times before, "it sure beats the alternative."
Another quote I like is what Cher says, "Getting old sucks."
Saturday, November 19, 2011
HomeMod
Some of you may not be aware of the fact that I had my hall bathroom remodeled this past summer. I had the bathtub and shower doors removed and a walk (or wheel) in shower installed, to better accomodate my disability.
I was able to have that work done through a program called HomeMod, short for Home Modification. This is a city sponsered program for persons with disabilities under the age of 60. Fortunately I qualified for the program.
Not only did they lower the floor where the tub previously resided, but they also completely retiled the floor and the shower walls. Additionally, they replaced the vanity sink with a pedestal sink and a new mirror.
The bathroom looks fantastic and better suits my needs, adding safety, ease of accessability and beauty. What more could you ask for?
The workmanship was exemplary, the entire project was started and brought to completion, including clean up and disposal, in five days.
Mark Nobriga, the man in charge of the program, had originally come to my home to discuss at length what my remodeling needs were, with respect to my particular disability, and how the HomeMod program could be of assistance. Several weeks later after the remodeling was complete, Mark came back to my house to take pictures of the remodel.
While Mark was here he said that the HomeMod program was going to be featured on an ABC Channel 7 News segment. He then asked me if they could film my bathroom and interview me for the segment. I explained that I would be happy to participate in anything that would glorify the program and help insure it's continued success.
On November 8, Karen Tamley, Commissoner of the Mayor's Office for People with Disabilities, along with Mark Nobriga came to my house for the interview.
Karen Tamley, a wonderful lady, is in charge of all affairs concerning programs, accessability issues, and potential grievances for the disabled here in Chicago. She heads a department of the Mayor's Office specifically geared toward equality of opportunity for those who are disabled. Her position with the city and the importance of her work cannot be understated. It was an honor to have met such an accomplished woman and have her visit my home.
I know this may be confusing but there is another woman named Karen Meyer, who has been with ABC Channel 7 News for many years. Karen M. has been actively addressing the concerns and introducing programs for those with disabilities for a very long time through the news media. I have seen her on the news many times.
You can imagine my surprise when I learned it was Karen Meyer who was going to conduct the interview for an upcoming segment on Channel 7 News, promoting the HomeMod program.
First, Karen Meyer of Channel 7 interviewed Karen Tamley Commissoner. (I told you it was a little confusing with two Karens). Karen T explained to Karen M the importance of the HomeMod program. She continued to elaborate that the city of Chicago faced many challenges regarding accessability issues for the disabled. One of the primary problems is that most residential buildings built before 1980 were vertical in structure with staircases, causing major hurtles for those with mobility related disabilites.
Listening to Karen Tamley speak made my admiration for her grow even stronger. She has devoted her entire career to helping the disabled live better, safer and easier lives, what a wonderful accomplishment.
Likewise, Karen Meyer of ABC Channel 7 News, has devoted her career to helping the disabled. She has been instramental in getting information out to the public regarding programs aimed at assisting the disabled. Karen M. through the news media, has helped countless persons with disabilities.
The entire process of filming this news segment has allowed me to meet these wonderful people, who have accomplished so much for others. It was an experience I will never forget.
I don't know the exact time and date this news segment will air onChannel 7. When I do know, rest assured I will pass that information to you either through my blog, email, facebook or the good old fashioned way, the telephone.
I have said this before but it bears repeating, "through great losses come great blessings." That statement was made to me by my friend and author, Michelle McKinney Hammond.
Meeting these three people Mark Nobriga, Karen Tamley and Karen Meyer has been one of those blessings I have received through my loss and I am truly thankful.
If you are disabled or know of someone who is, this program HomeMod, could be of great assistance in helping live happier and easier lives. You may contact this program through the website: www.cityofchicago.org/disabilities to download an application.
I was able to have that work done through a program called HomeMod, short for Home Modification. This is a city sponsered program for persons with disabilities under the age of 60. Fortunately I qualified for the program.
Not only did they lower the floor where the tub previously resided, but they also completely retiled the floor and the shower walls. Additionally, they replaced the vanity sink with a pedestal sink and a new mirror.
The bathroom looks fantastic and better suits my needs, adding safety, ease of accessability and beauty. What more could you ask for?
The workmanship was exemplary, the entire project was started and brought to completion, including clean up and disposal, in five days.
Mark Nobriga, the man in charge of the program, had originally come to my home to discuss at length what my remodeling needs were, with respect to my particular disability, and how the HomeMod program could be of assistance. Several weeks later after the remodeling was complete, Mark came back to my house to take pictures of the remodel.
While Mark was here he said that the HomeMod program was going to be featured on an ABC Channel 7 News segment. He then asked me if they could film my bathroom and interview me for the segment. I explained that I would be happy to participate in anything that would glorify the program and help insure it's continued success.
On November 8, Karen Tamley, Commissoner of the Mayor's Office for People with Disabilities, along with Mark Nobriga came to my house for the interview.
Karen Tamley, a wonderful lady, is in charge of all affairs concerning programs, accessability issues, and potential grievances for the disabled here in Chicago. She heads a department of the Mayor's Office specifically geared toward equality of opportunity for those who are disabled. Her position with the city and the importance of her work cannot be understated. It was an honor to have met such an accomplished woman and have her visit my home.
I know this may be confusing but there is another woman named Karen Meyer, who has been with ABC Channel 7 News for many years. Karen M. has been actively addressing the concerns and introducing programs for those with disabilities for a very long time through the news media. I have seen her on the news many times.
You can imagine my surprise when I learned it was Karen Meyer who was going to conduct the interview for an upcoming segment on Channel 7 News, promoting the HomeMod program.
First, Karen Meyer of Channel 7 interviewed Karen Tamley Commissoner. (I told you it was a little confusing with two Karens). Karen T explained to Karen M the importance of the HomeMod program. She continued to elaborate that the city of Chicago faced many challenges regarding accessability issues for the disabled. One of the primary problems is that most residential buildings built before 1980 were vertical in structure with staircases, causing major hurtles for those with mobility related disabilites.
Listening to Karen Tamley speak made my admiration for her grow even stronger. She has devoted her entire career to helping the disabled live better, safer and easier lives, what a wonderful accomplishment.
Likewise, Karen Meyer of ABC Channel 7 News, has devoted her career to helping the disabled. She has been instramental in getting information out to the public regarding programs aimed at assisting the disabled. Karen M. through the news media, has helped countless persons with disabilities.
The entire process of filming this news segment has allowed me to meet these wonderful people, who have accomplished so much for others. It was an experience I will never forget.
I don't know the exact time and date this news segment will air onChannel 7. When I do know, rest assured I will pass that information to you either through my blog, email, facebook or the good old fashioned way, the telephone.
I have said this before but it bears repeating, "through great losses come great blessings." That statement was made to me by my friend and author, Michelle McKinney Hammond.
Meeting these three people Mark Nobriga, Karen Tamley and Karen Meyer has been one of those blessings I have received through my loss and I am truly thankful.
If you are disabled or know of someone who is, this program HomeMod, could be of great assistance in helping live happier and easier lives. You may contact this program through the website: www.cityofchicago.org/disabilities to download an application.
Friday, November 11, 2011
A New Order
At a recent physical therapy appointment I was surprised to learn that Chris, my therapist, and Jason, my prosthetist, want me to try a completely new approach to learning to walk. The new procedure is called, "Short Leg Graduated Protocol" (SLGP).
Jason, a lifelong amputee himself, and a very accomplished athlete, had recently attended a seminar with other prosthetists, physical therapists, and doctors who have taught many bilateral above knee amputees to walk quite proficiently.
Short Leg Graduated Protocol (SLGP) was developed by Kevin Carroll, MS, CP, FAAOP, to train bilateral transfemoral amputees (like me) to confidently ambulate within the community on full length legs. The SLGP was developed to clearly define and systemize the key elements for bilateral transfemoral amputees to achieve successful prosthetic use.
The above paragraph was taken directly from a handout given to the attendees of the aforementioned seminar called, Prosthetic Management of Multiple Limb Deficiency.
This method has helped many war veterans with limb loss regain their mobility, many of whom were taught at Walter Reed Medical Center.
What the technique involves is quite different from what I have been trying to do. Instead of continuing the way I have been for the last five monthes on two full length prosthetics, I have now been fitted with shortened legs that do not have knees.
Over time the length of the legs will be increased and the knees will be reincorporated into the legs. The purpose of learning to walk using shorter legs is multifaceted. First of all, the closer your center of gravity is to the ground the better your balance will be, hence the shortened legs.
The idea of this SLGP program is for me to live in these legs as much as possible and become as proficient as possible at a myriad of tasks, not the least of which is learning to fall correctly and standing back up.
When I speak of shortened legs I mean shortened! It is similar to having your feet attached where your knees would normally be located minus the knee component completely. The first time I tried on the preliminary shortened legs, my appearance almost brought me to tears.
I have been 5'10" tall all of my adult life and while wearing the shortest legs I am about 4' 8" tall. Visually this was quite a dramatic and shocking change.
Since this idea was introduced to me about ten days ago, I have experienced many ever changing emotions. One of the first things Chris said to me, upon presenting this idea, was not to look at changing from the full length legs to the shortened legs as a failure.
One may ask, as I did, if it is not a failure then why are we changing the status quo (learning to walk on full length legs)? There are at least two reasons. First of all, because I was so adept at walking on one prosthetic leg and a walker within days of losing my second leg, the doctors, prosthetists, and therapists thought maybe I could walk directly on two full legs, which I have, however not as proficiently this new program has demonstrated.
The second reason is because many feel that losing a second leg and then being put in shortened legs and introducing SLGP immediately would have been too much of a loss all at once.
Whatever the reasoning may have been, I have decicded to give SLGP a try. I could not live with myself without exhausting all the possibilities presented to me that will enable me to regain as much normalcy as possible.
I must admit that when the idea was originally presented to me I felt somewhat discouraged. I still do not have the final shortened legs. I will receive them this Tuesday and I will begin my new learning process.
I have been accused of being an "A or Z" person, looking at situations as all or nothing, disregarding the entire area inbetween. It is true I do have a tendency to overlook the middle ground. I am choosing not to do that in this particular instance. I will try living my life and learning to walk on shortened legs, but at this stage only in controlled enviroments, i.e. the therapy gym and at home alone.
I really have to stay focussed on my goal of walking on full length legs in order to put myself through the stringent SLGP program. I know it must be difficult for you to understand the emotional and psychological affect using shortened legs has on me.
The reason I am writing to you about all this is because I want us, you the reader, and me, the participant to go through this procedure together.
This Shortened Leg Graduated Protocol is completely foreign to both of us. I thought by writing about this to you we could witness, figuratively, the emotional and physical changes of the next few monthes.
I know in the end I will walk better and live a more normal life, I must keep that thought in mind at all times, although that is easier said than done. As my dear friend Ruth pointed out, "it is just as easy to look at this positively as it is to look at it negatively, possibly easier."
As I have always done throughout my limb loss scenario, I will remain positive and optimisitc about my success, knowing all of you, my readers, are rooting me on, gives me strength. I thank you for that understood encouragement.
Jason, a lifelong amputee himself, and a very accomplished athlete, had recently attended a seminar with other prosthetists, physical therapists, and doctors who have taught many bilateral above knee amputees to walk quite proficiently.
Short Leg Graduated Protocol (SLGP) was developed by Kevin Carroll, MS, CP, FAAOP, to train bilateral transfemoral amputees (like me) to confidently ambulate within the community on full length legs. The SLGP was developed to clearly define and systemize the key elements for bilateral transfemoral amputees to achieve successful prosthetic use.
The above paragraph was taken directly from a handout given to the attendees of the aforementioned seminar called, Prosthetic Management of Multiple Limb Deficiency.
This method has helped many war veterans with limb loss regain their mobility, many of whom were taught at Walter Reed Medical Center.
What the technique involves is quite different from what I have been trying to do. Instead of continuing the way I have been for the last five monthes on two full length prosthetics, I have now been fitted with shortened legs that do not have knees.
Over time the length of the legs will be increased and the knees will be reincorporated into the legs. The purpose of learning to walk using shorter legs is multifaceted. First of all, the closer your center of gravity is to the ground the better your balance will be, hence the shortened legs.
The idea of this SLGP program is for me to live in these legs as much as possible and become as proficient as possible at a myriad of tasks, not the least of which is learning to fall correctly and standing back up.
When I speak of shortened legs I mean shortened! It is similar to having your feet attached where your knees would normally be located minus the knee component completely. The first time I tried on the preliminary shortened legs, my appearance almost brought me to tears.
I have been 5'10" tall all of my adult life and while wearing the shortest legs I am about 4' 8" tall. Visually this was quite a dramatic and shocking change.
Since this idea was introduced to me about ten days ago, I have experienced many ever changing emotions. One of the first things Chris said to me, upon presenting this idea, was not to look at changing from the full length legs to the shortened legs as a failure.
One may ask, as I did, if it is not a failure then why are we changing the status quo (learning to walk on full length legs)? There are at least two reasons. First of all, because I was so adept at walking on one prosthetic leg and a walker within days of losing my second leg, the doctors, prosthetists, and therapists thought maybe I could walk directly on two full legs, which I have, however not as proficiently this new program has demonstrated.
The second reason is because many feel that losing a second leg and then being put in shortened legs and introducing SLGP immediately would have been too much of a loss all at once.
Whatever the reasoning may have been, I have decicded to give SLGP a try. I could not live with myself without exhausting all the possibilities presented to me that will enable me to regain as much normalcy as possible.
I must admit that when the idea was originally presented to me I felt somewhat discouraged. I still do not have the final shortened legs. I will receive them this Tuesday and I will begin my new learning process.
I have been accused of being an "A or Z" person, looking at situations as all or nothing, disregarding the entire area inbetween. It is true I do have a tendency to overlook the middle ground. I am choosing not to do that in this particular instance. I will try living my life and learning to walk on shortened legs, but at this stage only in controlled enviroments, i.e. the therapy gym and at home alone.
I really have to stay focussed on my goal of walking on full length legs in order to put myself through the stringent SLGP program. I know it must be difficult for you to understand the emotional and psychological affect using shortened legs has on me.
The reason I am writing to you about all this is because I want us, you the reader, and me, the participant to go through this procedure together.
This Shortened Leg Graduated Protocol is completely foreign to both of us. I thought by writing about this to you we could witness, figuratively, the emotional and physical changes of the next few monthes.
I know in the end I will walk better and live a more normal life, I must keep that thought in mind at all times, although that is easier said than done. As my dear friend Ruth pointed out, "it is just as easy to look at this positively as it is to look at it negatively, possibly easier."
As I have always done throughout my limb loss scenario, I will remain positive and optimisitc about my success, knowing all of you, my readers, are rooting me on, gives me strength. I thank you for that understood encouragement.
Friday, November 4, 2011
A Few Kind Words
I had originally written this blog on October 25 but I left my blog notebook at the prosthetist's office, so here it is now.
I am sitting in the prosthetist's office having yet another "top" put on my left leg. It seems as though these appointments are never-ending and perhaps they will be. I have come to the conclusion that the fittings and refittings are just a part of this whole leg loss scenario and I have learned to accept and appreciate it as a part of wearing and walking on prosthetic legs.
What I would like to address is something I experienced yesterday (which was really two weeks ago now).
I was going to my usual Monday morning physical therapy appointment and when I wheeled past the glass doors into the reception area, another waiting patient said to me, "you are amazing." I thanked her and it was then I realized she had seen me at previous appointments.
As my therapy continued with my beloved Chris, everything was going reasonably well. After walking with the walker, we decided we were going to practice walking a few steps backward on the Canadian crutches. The previous week, I came as close as I ever had to falling, while attempting to walk backward and sit down. Both Chris and I were surprised that I had such difficulty walking a few steps backward.
As I was walking past the same patient who had complimented me earlier, she asked me if I "worked out?" I said that I did. She commented to her therapist, David, that she could tell I worked out because of how strong I appeared. She went on to say that her physical problems paled in comparision to mine. She continued to say that she had never seen such determination and again she thought I was amazing.
I thanked her for her comments and told her how good she made me feel. Actually those positive comments she gave me set the mood for my entire day.
It is astounding how far a few kind words can go in making someone feel good about themselves. Receiving positive feedback from others has an uplifting and longlasting affect on the person who is the object of kind words. I have believed for quite some time that passing along a compliment or two to another makes that person and you feel better. It is a win win situation.
Why then are people so hesitant to compliment others? It doesn't cost anything and the potential benefits are incalculable. I have always tried to applaud the good works or deeds of others through my words because I know how it feels to be on the receiving end of a compliment.
It is kind of like telling someone you love them, people don't tell each other how they really feel because often times, they think the other person already knows how they feel; that is not always the case.
A few kind words can go along way in making another person feel better and generally have a brighter outlook on their day and even their lives.
Steve has told me on numerous occasions that he feels people are very guarded with respect to being open about their lives. He feels when you are too open about your life you make yourself vulnerable to others. It is this vulnerability that prevent people from complimenting others. Sometimes individuals are concerned that their kind words may be misconstrued, as a "come on" or otherwise misunderstood, consequently they say nothing. I say, "who cares." I cannot be any other way than what I am. I do not live my life in secrecy as this blogs attests. I am pretty much an open book, what you see and hear from me is pretty much genuine and true.
If I like your outfit, I will tell you, if your hair looks good, I will tell you, if I am proud and thankful you are a part of my life, you will already know it because I have already told you so.
If we could all pay more attention to trying to be kind with not only our words but also our actions the world would be a better place. I have been trying to do my part for a long time and I will continue to do so.
Please join me in making our world a more pleasant place to live. By the way I have I told you lately how happy I am that you take the time to read my blog? Your participation in my life, in and of itself makes me happy, thank you.
I am sitting in the prosthetist's office having yet another "top" put on my left leg. It seems as though these appointments are never-ending and perhaps they will be. I have come to the conclusion that the fittings and refittings are just a part of this whole leg loss scenario and I have learned to accept and appreciate it as a part of wearing and walking on prosthetic legs.
What I would like to address is something I experienced yesterday (which was really two weeks ago now).
I was going to my usual Monday morning physical therapy appointment and when I wheeled past the glass doors into the reception area, another waiting patient said to me, "you are amazing." I thanked her and it was then I realized she had seen me at previous appointments.
As my therapy continued with my beloved Chris, everything was going reasonably well. After walking with the walker, we decided we were going to practice walking a few steps backward on the Canadian crutches. The previous week, I came as close as I ever had to falling, while attempting to walk backward and sit down. Both Chris and I were surprised that I had such difficulty walking a few steps backward.
As I was walking past the same patient who had complimented me earlier, she asked me if I "worked out?" I said that I did. She commented to her therapist, David, that she could tell I worked out because of how strong I appeared. She went on to say that her physical problems paled in comparision to mine. She continued to say that she had never seen such determination and again she thought I was amazing.
I thanked her for her comments and told her how good she made me feel. Actually those positive comments she gave me set the mood for my entire day.
It is astounding how far a few kind words can go in making someone feel good about themselves. Receiving positive feedback from others has an uplifting and longlasting affect on the person who is the object of kind words. I have believed for quite some time that passing along a compliment or two to another makes that person and you feel better. It is a win win situation.
Why then are people so hesitant to compliment others? It doesn't cost anything and the potential benefits are incalculable. I have always tried to applaud the good works or deeds of others through my words because I know how it feels to be on the receiving end of a compliment.
It is kind of like telling someone you love them, people don't tell each other how they really feel because often times, they think the other person already knows how they feel; that is not always the case.
A few kind words can go along way in making another person feel better and generally have a brighter outlook on their day and even their lives.
Steve has told me on numerous occasions that he feels people are very guarded with respect to being open about their lives. He feels when you are too open about your life you make yourself vulnerable to others. It is this vulnerability that prevent people from complimenting others. Sometimes individuals are concerned that their kind words may be misconstrued, as a "come on" or otherwise misunderstood, consequently they say nothing. I say, "who cares." I cannot be any other way than what I am. I do not live my life in secrecy as this blogs attests. I am pretty much an open book, what you see and hear from me is pretty much genuine and true.
If I like your outfit, I will tell you, if your hair looks good, I will tell you, if I am proud and thankful you are a part of my life, you will already know it because I have already told you so.
If we could all pay more attention to trying to be kind with not only our words but also our actions the world would be a better place. I have been trying to do my part for a long time and I will continue to do so.
Please join me in making our world a more pleasant place to live. By the way I have I told you lately how happy I am that you take the time to read my blog? Your participation in my life, in and of itself makes me happy, thank you.
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